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Old 07-03-2010, 09:49 AM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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Post Grrrrr MADA!! (Fan Fiction Competition)

If you are having trouble with some of the orc words just go to the Fantasy Friday XXXIII-The Lore & Fantasy Behind Mythador. But hope you enjoy the story



When the war of the Lost Kings was over many years past of peace and generosity. That peasants,merchants and soldiers would brave the lands of Gokkholm without any caution. For days now a storm was brewing up and finally after hundreds of herds from the grassland region of the Wold stampeded to Brakkental in Gokkholm region, Lightning struck making a huge crater in the sands of Brakkental making birth to an orc. The humans in Teria all feared him and the orcs called him..........Grrrr Mada!(fierce master). This savage orc first started off as a loan orc just trying to survive in Brakkental, luckily the storm he made those herds of cows,pigs and sheep flee into Brakkental. But they were not as lucky as this loan orc for they could not survive in this wasteland.

A year has past and the orc has grown tired of all the none killing he was doing. He went of the region of Thikken dal. He has been watching a group of men hunt in these forest,kill some squads of goblins and orcs. Couple of days have passed and he quenched the thirst of man blood he got weapons and armor off the orcs that the men killed and didn't bother to loot. As the men finished of hunting some deer the orc crouched in a bush waiting for the men to eat and get full, as the sun set one man went off to take a leak while the others laid around a fire. The orc picks up his sword....but doesn't go for the easy man to kill but he walks out the bush standing 6ft, arms and legs pulsing with strength, eyes red in the middle and yellow on the outside and breath smelling like an ogres armpit. The men quickly got up grabbed swords and bows. One man pulls an arrow out his bag on his back and fires, the orc blocks with his arm and the arrow goes right out the other side of his arm...but still in and without a sign of pain. three men charge and the orc shouts out RIBBEET GELLEM(Die enemy), it was so fierce and filled with hatred that the three men froze up. The orc walks up and punches one in the face shattering his jaw, cuts off anothers arm and throws the last one at a tree that was atleast 15ft away. The man with the bow ran away long time ago and the orc sat down and ate the rest of their food. The man that went off to take a leak later came back in the morning to see his comrades heads on spikes.

Word has spread of this killing machine far and wide, many wanted him dead and many wanted to kill under his doing. Just two years has past of that attack and this loan orc has now got himself followers, not only just orc follower but rebel humans and dark elves have come to his side. Humans have grown tired of this orc and his followers same as the elves but the elves didn't want to get into battle unless it was on their own land for boost of magic.

The orc and his follower went straight into Teria region. The men, women and children were scared and all travelled to the great fortess/city/capital of Dagbor. After a week the orc has reach Dagbor with his five thousand orcs, nine hundred rebel men, thousand dark elves, hundred catapults, twenty siege towers, thirty ladders and five battering rams. Darkness fell over the city as there was no wind. The men had ten trebuchets on the wall, six hundred archers and three hundred swordsmen on the first wall. The orc spoke and said DRELL-DRELL(forward) as soon as the got close enough he said GEGARK!(hault)....they aimed getting ready and with his fierce roar he says SKARRAV(attack) for the catapults. They fire down on Dagbor and the humans return the favor as their commander yells FIRE. Several hours pass as no sun comes up to give the men a sign of hope. The first wall is on fire with black smoke coming from the towers where the trebuchets sit un-occupied. The orc speaks again DRELL-DRELL(forward) SEIGE TOWERS, REBEL MESSRA TA(allies) DRELL-DRELL(forward) TAKE THE WALLS NO GELLEM(enemy) SURVIVES LOOT AND BURN AAAARGH!!. The towers move to the walls with nine hundred men stacked in them. The human wall commander orders the remaining three hundred archers to use fire arrows and aim at the wooden parts of the seige towers. A volley of arrows sore the sky and down on the siege towers and instantly two catch fire with rebel men jumping out to not catch fire. About thirteen siege towers make it and the orc leader grunts whispering Ahag(well met). The orc leader speaks sayin DRELL-DRELL(forward) battering rams along with a thousand orcs for cover. The battering rams reach undetected because of the rebel men already fighting off men on the walls. The gate breaks and the orcs still in formation chant in victory while the thousand orcs swarm in like locust killing off men and burning the houses. The first wall commanders sees this and yells FALL BACK TO THE SECOND WALL MEN. Trying to fall back most of the men got slaughtered only twenty archers and sixty men made it back excluding the first wall commander. The men were scared as their moral was very low so they fell back across the two bridges to protect the keep. The orc leaders scout told him of this and his whole army laughs with disscust of how pathetic men are. As the battle goes on more followers have heard of the orcs campaign to take out Dagbor. fifty ogres fully armed, two thousand orcs and five hundred impaler/slayer warg riders joined the fight. The orc speaks to the leader of this army Ah mara!(warm greeting) says the Gr Mada the orc leader says Harra(nice to see you) Gr Mada!. The Gr Mada says time to terredd(kill) gellem(enemy). As he orders the ogres to rush in and destroy the place along with three thousand orcs. Three days pass the human king is surround in the keep....but the Gr Mada just tells his army to leave.

The king hears the orcs marching off and gets up to his inner wall to see the damage and all he sees is bodies of men, orcs, ogres and wargs. an orc hiding under bodies pops up with an arrow...aims and fires, hitting the king straight threw his neck falling off the wall. Since the elves opposed no threat the Gr Mada didn't bother to attack their capital. The casualties didn't matter at the battle of Dagbor because his army tripled in power with seven teen thousand orcs, two thousand seven hundred rebel men, three thousand dark elves, hundred fifty ogres thousand five hundred warg riders, three hundred catapults, sixty siege towers, ninety ladders and fifteen battering rams. Many years later he took over the elves and heard them talk about other lands further north with many creatures stronger then orcs...BAHA thats not possible the Gr Mada says. He ventures forth for more glory to his kind.
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Last edited by Khan kreiger : 07-03-2010 at 10:40 PM. Reason: Upon author's request
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Old 07-03-2010, 09:58 AM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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oops how do i fix the title i spelt competition wrong
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Old 07-03-2010, 10:34 AM
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I'm going to read this, but you should break this into paragraphs to make it easier to reaed.
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Old 07-03-2010, 10:35 AM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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ok will do im sorry i was really thinking about that
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Old 07-03-2010, 11:21 AM
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Thanks. Thats a pretty good read. Interesting that you had the different races working together under the Orc.
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Old 07-03-2010, 11:26 AM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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Thank you. I thought i was a good idea too so no one was really being ganged up and that everyone was involved
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Old 07-03-2010, 10:25 PM
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Fixed title.

Haven't read it yet, but I might suggest defining your orc words. If you've seen any of the quest dialog screenshots, you'll notice that our writers always pair an elven or orc word with the English translation unless that word is used commonly - like Grrr Mada or nhoblio. The scattered orc/elven words you see are meant to add a bit of spice to the text, not to complicate or take away from its meaning.

Anyway, just a suggestion. You've done a great job incorporating the language.
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Old 07-03-2010, 10:31 PM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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thanks for the suggestion ill get right on that oh and thanks for fixing the title
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Old 07-03-2010, 11:29 PM
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good story liked it a lot sep for the elves thing pfft we arnt that weak
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Old 07-04-2010, 06:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Walz View Post
Fixed title.
No you didn't!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Walz View Post
Fixed title.
Haven't read it yet, but I might suggest defining your orc words. If you've seen any of the quest dialog screenshots, you'll notice that our writers always pair an elven or orc word with the English translation unless that word is used commonly - like Grrr Mada or nhoblio. The scattered orc/elven words you see are meant to add a bit of spice to the text, not to complicate or take away from its meaning.

Anyway, just a suggestion. You've done a great job incorporating the language.
If he continues the story, and reuses the words, he shouldn't need to! Ie. think Anthony Burgess
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