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  #11  
Old 01-27-2010, 08:44 AM
blackfang blackfang is offline
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Awesome It Is Toooooooo Goooodddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd:d :d :d :d :d :d :d
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  #12  
Old 01-27-2010, 11:48 AM
Negthareas Negthareas is offline
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I just read both, they are great! However, one question - wouldn't the armor and everything be a little big on a 13-14 year old? Besides that, I really enjoyed the read.
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  #13  
Old 01-27-2010, 01:37 PM
blackfang blackfang is offline
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he can be a bit large for his age? i have heard and seen large people that was only about that age too...
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  #14  
Old 01-27-2010, 02:45 PM
welshie welshie is offline
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Originally Posted by Negthareas View Post
I just read both, they are great! However, one question - wouldn't the armor and everything be a little big on a 13-14 year old? Besides that, I really enjoyed the read.
Yeh i thought that to so i did update the start of the sotry to make him 15, and some 15 year olds are have done most of there growing.
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  #15  
Old 01-27-2010, 04:54 PM
Kire Kire is offline
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More, need more =O, hmmm wonder what will happen to king now.
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  #16  
Old 01-28-2010, 04:55 AM
welshie welshie is offline
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Rest of the first chapter.

Returning to the band of youths they were greeted with the sobs of grieving as they all knew what had happened. ‘I want everyone to gather round we have things to discuss’ he spoke to the people in front of him, they quickly began spreading the word. Everyone respected Arthas not just for who his farther was, he was a leader of men himself and everyone looked to him for guidance when hard times came, for he had killed attacking wolves and boars when everyone else froze at the sight of them. Cool headed Arthas began to greet all that came, it was not long before the tiny group of dozens became a good hundred strong, all with grief struck on their face boys had more anger but what few girls had tears streaming from there bulging eyes. But Arthas and his friends sucked it up as they needed to be steel here for them to stop anymore slaughtering, friends by his side Arthas addressed the youths.

‘Darssen is no more, betrayed by our own allies and lords all have perished and none survived. It is down to us to get to safety this land is no longer safe, the king I suspect will no longer be apart of this world or is just about to depart it, we must put our hopes in another land. The only lands that will be safe are to the North East, and put our hopes in the Elf’s or we must try and cross the rolling plains to the west to reach the kingdom of Teria, in the hope that they will accept us.’
People cried out in no such order ‘We must stay!’ ‘Why would people do such a thing’ ‘What happens if they don’t accept us’ ‘how will we survive’. Arthas soon quietened them with a raised hand.

‘We cannot stay, doing so will mean death for us all, and Lord Tomas has placed patrols over the whole of Darssen. If he finds us he will kill us, it is my duty to keep you safe and I will not allow anyone else to perish to this monster. I say the safest option is to the east and put our hopes in the east, although I would find Teria more acceptable to our cause’

One of the youths stepped forward he was a large fellow with dull black hair but looked like he had been kicked in the face by a horse. ‘I choose Teria! But I will follow you anywhere Lord Arthas!’ then kneeled, seeing this brute kneel everyone followed in suit, yes he was a Lord now since his dad was dead but a Lord of a what land? Everything his dad has owned was now dead now would his dad’s reputation carry for him where he went. So many questions so few answers. ‘We head for Teria, those best at swordsmanship and archery step forwards you shall now be the guards of this caravan. Teria shall not be an easy journey but the best for us all, when we reach there those who wish it can join me in my conquest to recapture my fathers land and his reputation! For Darssen!’

He was met with a cheer ‘For Lord Arthas! For Darssen!!!’

As he started handing out the blades and bows to the people that stepped forward to receive their weapons, a young lady approached him she was very pretty with long blond hair a bright blue eyes but most could not see as she dressed like a boy Arthas giggled to himself but regained himself before she finally reached him ‘My lord I am a fine archer and I shall do my best to keep anyone from harming the others! My names Adrena’

Handing a bow and a quiver to the young lady Arthas managed to release some words from his strangely tightened mouth, he had never had trouble speaking with anyone but this was different like his mind had left him. ‘Yoourrr welcome…’ Arthas managed to say whilst thinking ‘Idiot’ ‘I would be glad you have joined me, my names Arthas’ not realising that everyone knew him, she laughed at him took the bow and left. Arthas almost had a fight in the head how bad that went, and what he should have done.

Nathan joined him ‘Pretty, shame she dresses like a boy. What’s the matter cat got your tongue, ah least someone is having some fun in this mess.’ Nathan laughed at him as Arthas blushed. Not long after everyone was all fitted out looked more like a rabble than a guarded caravan, Arthas had everyone who did not wish to be a guard on the supply carts no one was over the age of 16, but now they had to act and behave like they were 20. And just one had been anywhere that was a great distance from Darssen he had been to Holton, so not only where they ill experienced with youth they also had to rely heavily on maps.

'We move!'

Chapter 2: the journey to Teria
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Last edited by welshie : 01-28-2010 at 05:01 AM.
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  #17  
Old 01-28-2010, 06:16 AM
blackfang blackfang is offline
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Ok welshie i bow before your might, that chapter there was TEN TIMES BETTER then all mine summarized! You are indeed a mighty story writer. perhaps i should start a new story to try and beat it But we will see Tough i got much inspiration i like all that stuff at the end particularly Well PLZ continue forever with it
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  #18  
Old 01-28-2010, 08:28 AM
welshie welshie is offline
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Originally Posted by blackfang View Post
Ok welshie i bow before your might, that chapter there was TEN TIMES BETTER then all mine summarized! You are indeed a mighty story writer. perhaps i should start a new story to try and beat it But we will see Tough i got much inspiration i like all that stuff at the end particularly Well PLZ continue forever with it
Dont worry will do have already started on chapter 2, and you should start your own story as well i wouldnt mind reading someone else's when i have some spare time.
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  #19  
Old 01-28-2010, 12:09 PM
blackfang blackfang is offline
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Well i don't have time right now. so until the weekend at least i will not begin with anything, (i had a busy week with job application and we started a dancing project, we have a create a song from the bottom project, and lots of homework so i have to use the weekends) Sometimes i HATE school but when i find time i will try
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  #20  
Old 01-28-2010, 03:24 PM
Negthareas Negthareas is offline
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Really like ch. 2. Maybe Blackfang and Welshie, you and I could each do stories - not for a competition but for fun. What do you think?
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