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  #1  
Old 07-04-2010, 09:26 AM
LoveToKill LoveToKill is offline
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Cool LTK's fan fic competion

The Beginning


So there I was waiting for my brother when I heard a noise by the warg pins Brindessa (Who are you? Identify Yourself!) Relax younger brother it is I Waagrub you sure seem uneasy Grotent and please stop your shouting. Now follow me, he led me to a tavern out in the middle of nowhere it seemed deserted we walked in then a noise came from the darkness and I whipped out my sword.

A voice came from the darkness it said Relax Messra ta (Friend) My older brother gestured that it was safe I sheathed my sword then as I looked around I saw more figures then just the one that had spoke we were surrounded by other orcs some old some a bit younger.

Brother who are these people? He replied in a calm tone these are our brothers in arms those who will help us take over the position of grrrrr mada. (Fierce Master) I Laughed then said I was unaware we needed help taking out the grr mada. Younger brother he said surely you didn’t think it would be as simple as killing him and declaring that I was the new grr mada and all should follow me!

I looked a bit embarrassed as he continued, We must proceed with caution and have all orc leaders on the same boat so that are people do not descend into chaos we have enough problems with those cowards the elves not to mention our natural enemies man.

I understand brother but I do have a question why am I just now meeting these people. A silence fell over the tavern then after a short time one of the other men spoke well Grotent we have heard that your rather impulsive and many of us were unsure that you could handle this situation but your brother has assured us that you where able and this meeting was so that we could meet and all be sure that we are on the same page.

After a little more discussion the “Meetings the elders had put it was over and we were on our way home it was called short since my older brother had acrimony tomorrow to be promoted to be one of the top generals to the grr mada one that usually was a great honor.

Something was off because I was called upon by the grr mada to accompany my older brother which seemed weird what could he want with me I thought we were led by 4 strong orc warriors to an arena Then the grr mada Spoke Today is an unusual day we have two warriors who will fight and the winner will be our new general to lead us into battle

Shock fell over me as I realized what was going on but it made no sense everyone knew that my older brother was the best solider in the army no one could oppose him in battle then I realized the true goal of this he knew about the planning we were doing he also knew that we couldn’t fight each other and that if we didn’t he could kill us both for insubordination and no one would question our deaths I knew what I’d have to do id Die so that my older brother could live inthe end maybe i am impulsive the grr mada instructed us to fight and so it began.


Cliff hanger O noes sorry iwantto add to much andcut out alot to make this readable for you guys srry if some parts seem stupid or rushedi didnt want a 3million word story let me know if you like ill make a part 2 and please tell mehow i did i did this ina hurryish but made it a bit to long also sorry for any mis spelling and what not thank you for reading My story ^^
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  #2  
Old 07-04-2010, 10:03 AM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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It seems like a good start....and i don't think it matters how long says Alex Walz. But i would like a second part to actually know more about whats going on.
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Old 07-04-2010, 10:11 AM
LoveToKill LoveToKill is offline
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Ya kinda rushed it dont want to bore people to tears with a short story thats like 3 hrs to read so i tried to compress it a bit much ~_~
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Old 07-04-2010, 10:17 AM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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well to me in this first part you've drawn my attention and im just wondering whats going to happen next....maybe everyone will feel the same so dont rush the next one to amaze us or something
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Old 07-04-2010, 10:23 AM
LoveToKill LoveToKill is offline
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LoL khan its a bad habbit i hate writeingi feellikewhat ever i do is to long theni get paranoid im hopeing todoa part 2if enough peoplelikeit butit may be alotlonger then the first :x i actully wantedto put down alot more x_x but that righttheres a pageonmicrosoftword so i decidedto vut itshort wellill start workin onthe otherparti guess do a little brain storming thanks for the feewd back khan also i like yoursandgot acoupleof my ideas from yours xD
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Old 07-04-2010, 01:53 PM
Khan kreiger Khan kreiger is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveToKill View Post
LoL khan its a bad habbit i hate writeingi feellikewhat ever i do is to long theni get paranoid im hopeing todoa part 2if enough peoplelikeit butit may be alotlonger then the first :x i actully wantedto put down alot more x_x but that righttheres a pageonmicrosoftword so i decidedto vut itshort wellill start workin onthe otherparti guess do a little brain storming thanks for the feewd back khan also i like yoursandgot acoupleof my ideas from yours xD
Good....ahah thanks and be my geust by taking some ideas from mine....orcs help out other orcs
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Old 07-04-2010, 02:35 PM
leonardo88 leonardo88 is offline
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interesting, this needed a bit of translation work due to lack of vocabulary issue, need to study a bit more english
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