No hard feelings. Everyone has a notion of what they personally think the game experience is going to be for them. Part of the reason they have a PR guy is to help the community with expectation management.
What is that you ask? Expectation management is used by Counselors, Chaplains, and of course PR folks. You help your clients learn as much about the situation or game as possible and manage their expectations of whatever the subject matter is. The reason you do this is to fight preconcieved notions and ideas that build up over time. Then when the big moment arrives there isn't resentment over the disparity between what players believed the game to be and what the product actually is.
By and large I am sure Reverie has done a fantastic job up until the point of managing the expectations of the customer base. Unfortunately there are some critical pieces of information that are not widely known and havn't been updated on the FAQ.
You have covered some of them. But the one serious concern I have and I don't understand is the difference between what you have said and what the video trailer said. The video trailer implied that you can create a kingdom in multiplayer. If all you can do is attack NPC cities and attack player Strongholds and you can't expand territory despite the video stating that you have to attack players to expand your empire then it's misinformation.
What is happening is that video is building a false expectation of the player base and their ability to basically have their own roleplaying kingdom/empire.
Maybe we are not quite effectively communicating with one another but I hope I have gotten my concerns across in this wall of text. I think DOF has the potential to be a fantastic game and I would hate to see the MMORTS portion die an early death do to low participation by the fan base because it doesn't turn out to be quite what people were expecting.
I want DOF to succeed. I'd like it to be a full kingdom simulation instead of merely a graphical match making system. Hopefully my dreams will come true with some DLC or another.