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lastchancer
01-05-2012, 10:01 AM
I decided to Chronicle the rise of my Orcish empire in Dawn of Fantasy through a narrative. I wasn't quite sure where to put this so if it is in the wrong area please let me know or move it :)


>> Near a small encampment of orcs deep in the desert of Brakental a weary traveller walked alone. Wrapped in a heavy cloak to protect against the sandstorms he trudged across the dunes. For weeks he had made his way from the Mother Womb, cast out by his clan for being overambitious. Spurned by his brothers he took up his sword, seeking his future elsewhere.
>> It was here, deep in the night that he spied the camps torches, a few pitiful lights around a single building. Its Inhabitants all slept near a single great fire, wrapped in deerskin while the chieftain sat on the steps to his grand hut, staring at his tribe. The stranger stared at this pitiful collection, and resolved to take it.
>> unhooking his sword from his back he strode past the huddle of slayers, ignoring them entirely as they noticed him and scrambled to their feet. His dark eyes fastened with the chieftains, who noticed him, rising to his feet and drawing his own weapon. No word was spoken, the challenge to his leadership was obvious and the rest of the orcs backed off to let them fight.
>> Their blades clashed, metal screeching off each other as they slashed and parried. The strangers strength kept the chieftain on the defensive, able to strike only a few times to try and keep him back. They fought around the fire, the slayers around them cheering their approval. But the chieftain was old, his fighting slower than his young rival and it was inevitable when he took a slash across the chest, cutting through his armour. Mere seconds later his weapon was knocked from his hand.
>> Kneeling in the dirt the chieftain looked into the fierce eyes of the stranger, clutching his chest wound. "I yield, Grr Mada. What was mine is yours."
>>>The stranger smiled, grasping the deposed chieftains hand and pulling him to his feet. “I need your aid, help me lead this tribe to greatness with your advice, and I shall share the riches we tear from the gellems hands. What is your name?”
>>>“I am Jentokk Karrad, Grr Mada and I will serve you gladly for sparing my life. What do you require?”
>>>“The tribe has one hut, and nowhere for the warriors or women to live. Send out the labourers to cut down the trees around the oasis, we need room for my armies.”
>>>“Armies? You brought more slayers with you?”
>>>“No, we seek out the warbands and other tribes of the area, and take their warriors. I will not be defeated in single combat by any desert tribes chieftain. Send out the labourers, clear the area of anything that can be used, and I will amass an army to retake the healing springs nearby, if my pet does not arrive beforehand.”
>>>The next few days the tribe moved with greater purpose, Labourers erecting huts from freshly cut timber, marauders roaming far and wide to bring the tribe what deer and sand lizards they could. Rudimentary palisades lined with spikes formed a wall, keeping away the goblin tribes that had taken over the springs.
>>>The new chieftain, calling himself Grell Keltakk, had taken half the slayers and journeyed out into the desert. There he had systematically challenged chieftains and war leaders, cutting them down in single combat and adding their orcs to his own. The tribe began swelling, the original few dozen being joined by hundreds more. Former enemies glowered at each other around the fires at night, duels being fought for insults, the most notable being ‘looking at me funny while armed’.
>>>Three weeks after Grell had come to the tribe it had grown to over a thousand, War halls training the young in the art of combat while the women looked after the young deep inside the huts. The palisades had been expanded, sturdy looking wooden walls being erected behind them. Further huts deeper into the desert had been erected, labourers and marauders using these small outposts to gather even more resources for the fledgling tribe. They were ready to push the goblins out of their territory.
>>>Grell stood before his army of slayers, hundreds of orcish eyes watching him as he stared at the goblin infested oasis ahead. Thousands of the little runts were readying their weapons and notching arrows to strings. The first Oasis had scattered as soon as they saw the mass of orcs approaching, quickly reforming at the second where they prepared to make their stand. Their crude shields and dented swords looked vastly inferior to the orcs newly made steel ones, freshly mined from the worlds blood, but they outnumbered the orcs nearly three to one, their numbers easily giving them the advantage in such a desolate region.
>>>Grell turned to his soldiers and raised his voice. “Slayers, warriors of my tribe, listen to me! Before today you were scattered on the winds, lost. Today you stand found, in a new tribe that will gain glory greater than anything seen before. Lend me your strength to clear these weak goblins, these intruders into my lands, our lands. We will wipe their stain out, showing our power and that we will not be defeated, we will not vanish like so many others. Will you stand by me, bleed with me, gain glory with me? Will you show the world that you are the toughest orcs, the bravest warriors? Are you with me?”
>>>Every slayer raised his voice in agreement, their roar echoing across the dunes. Swords hammered against shields, feet stamped the ground. Every orc dreamed of glory for his clan and tribe, and Grell, with his mysterious aura and intimidating personality promised them much. Grell raised his voice once more over the clamour.
>>>“Jentokk, sound the war horn!”
>>>“Yes Grr Mada,” was his reply, unhooking the ancient dragon bone instrument and bringing it to his lips. The note it unleashed was unearthly, the sound of lightning crying. The hairs of all who heard it stood up, goblins crying out in fright. Slayers pounded forward, singing the war chant as they went. Panicked goblin


*still writing*

lastchancer
01-05-2012, 10:02 AM
Reserved For Future addition

lastchancer
01-05-2012, 10:04 AM
Reserved For Even More Future addition

buddhist23
01-05-2012, 04:56 PM
IT was then the tribe next door conquered your tribe. the end.

Neinth
01-05-2012, 05:25 PM
M8 ignore post above me,he's got a hair in bad places.Anyways story's coming along well i think,still waiting on the obligatory sex scene though.

buddhist23
01-05-2012, 10:17 PM
M8 ignore post above me,he's got a hair in bad places.Anyways story's coming along well i think,still waiting on the obligatory sex scene though.

m8, ignore the post above me. He's got a hair with following people. Someone doesn't know how to take a joke...

Eaglecrys
01-06-2012, 07:16 AM
keep up the story lastchancer. It is always nice to see someone get into the game so much they do a little rp or storytelling of their own.

Sunleader
01-06-2012, 08:14 AM
Storys are always good
the more Lore this Game gets the more it Qualifies as an true Fantasy Game

After all its always nice to have some storys in the far lands you travel :P

knightl
01-06-2012, 08:34 AM
love your story hoping for more.

buddhist23
01-06-2012, 11:13 AM
love your story hoping for more.

You guys if you can't say something straightforward that the meaning isn't obvious avoid posting it so others can cliquishness in this story

I..I..I don't even know what to say..your sentence is lacking a ton of commas and breaks. I don't understand it. Please say it straightforward.

knightl
01-06-2012, 05:02 PM
You love tormenting us with the ending

buddhist23
01-06-2012, 10:47 PM
a sentence cannot be broken into parts thereof it wouldn't be a sentence now would it and it was straightforward unless you don't know the meaning of the words :)

thereof it

the meaning of that word doesn't exist...

Neinth
01-06-2012, 11:11 PM
perhaps we should edit these posts so they all say constructive things about lastchancers story.

And i think last got my little joke about the sex scene,if he didnt perhaps he would add something about some female wardens and goblin trist in the story somewhere.....

buddhist23
01-07-2012, 10:19 AM
perhaps we should edit these posts so they all say constructive things about lastchancers story.

And i think last got my little joke about the sex scene,if he didnt perhaps he would add something about some female wardens and goblin trist in the story somewhere.....


feels like a dead story to me if someone keeps bumping it instead of updating it

Dreamwalker
01-07-2012, 02:20 PM
Nice to see somebody else writing stories! I want to know what happens next! :D

knightl
01-07-2012, 05:29 PM
When can you do more theres only a handful of storys out there and this ones the best of the orcs,

buddhist23
01-08-2012, 01:16 AM
When can you do more theres only a handful of storys out there and this ones the best of the orcs,

ME WANT MORE!





TO buddhist


no therefore its one sentence already so it can't be broken down into more sentences as it conveys one point and it does exist go learn a word or 2


no therefore its one sentence already so it can't be broken down into more sentences as it conveys one point and it does exist go learn a word or 2

That's a run on sentence.
Learn some grammar before attempting to misuse words....


TO thread- this story is dead. Bumping yourself should not even be allowed.

knightl
01-08-2012, 08:37 PM
no therefore its one sentence already so it can't be broken down into more sentences as it conveys one point and it does exist go learn a word or 2

That's a run on sentence.
Learn some grammar before attempting to misuse words....


TO thread- this story is dead. Bumping yourself should not even be allowed.

he is writing a story it takes time

buddhist23
01-09-2012, 01:25 PM
he is writing a story it takes time

and btw dude read my response to you, you wanted me to brake my sentence down into more than one but you just said it can't be broken more please stop trolling

LOL! ARE YOU AN @$#%? IT'S YOUR OWN SENTENCE.

"TO buddhist


no therefore its one sentence already so it can't be broken down into more sentences as it conveys one point and it does exist go learn a word or 2"

^ IT'S YOUR SENTENCE- PLZ- FEEL FREE TO LOOK IT UP"

In fact- I'll post your post again.

"Originally Posted by knightl
When can you do more theres only a handful of storys out there and this ones the best of the orcs,

ME WANT MORE!





TO buddhist


no therefore its one sentence already so it can't be broken down into more sentences as it conveys one point and it does exist go learn a word or 2"

SOWWY- I THOUGHT YOU WERE AN AVERAGE PERSON WHO COULD RECOGNIZE THEIR OWN SENTENCES!! Troll FAIL

And it's "break" not break. Please, stop trolling. This just PROVES what I said about you in previous threads.

And dude, i can make up a fantasy story in MINUTES- it's not HARD at all especially when your documenting/turning your actions ingame into a story too. He already has the plot ( what he does ingame ) - all he needs is to write it out. SO EASY TO DO WHEN LORE AND PLOT IS ALREADY DONE FOR YOU!!!!!!

Dreamwalker
01-09-2012, 03:22 PM
Uh, buddhist: CHILL.

Seems on every thread you and knight are at each others' throats. Can't we just get along? :)


(and btw, if writing a story is so easy, why don't you write one?)

(and btw again, this conversation is taking over the guy's thread; it's supposed to be about his story, anyway)

knightl
01-09-2012, 03:50 PM
Uh, buddhist: CHILL.

Seems on every thread you and knight are at each others' throats. Can't we just get along? :)


(and btw, if writing a story is so easy, why don't you write one?)

(and btw again, this conversation is taking over the guy's thread; it's supposed to be about his story, anyway)

a agree there writing stories is hard as hell and continuing them is even harder because you use all your ideas on the first one.

buddhist23
01-09-2012, 09:39 PM
a agree there writing stories is hard as hell and continuing them is even harder because you use all your ideas on the first one.


OFT: you think this is bad he made a whole thread about me i felt so special :)

edit: http://www.reverieworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5275 check this work of art and comments, the majority of the posts made by some people are generally one liners that cannot be discussed

nothing to say about your genius comment? I'll post it here again, "and btw dude read my response to you, you wanted me to brake my sentence down into more than one but you just said it can't be broken more please stop trolling" ( note to you: you were talking about your own words, not mine, gj )

You are a bad community member as well as ingame. You think people forget? No, people don't. Again, you throw the term "Troll" around as if your a preschooler. Hope you still feel special.

lastchancer
01-09-2012, 11:00 PM
Ok main post updated with more story. Havent been writing much as i have been having a life lately ( rare for me but i felt entitled. ) I will be writing more frequently and updating more often.

And guys, please do not start a flame war on my thread. If you honestly feel that way make your own thread and flame to your hearts content there.

knightl
01-09-2012, 11:36 PM
Ok main post updated with more story. Havent been writing much as i have been having a life lately ( rare for me but i felt entitled. ) I will be writing more frequently and updating more often.


how dare you have a life :)


and you need to stop leaving the story on a cliffhanger its killing me!

Neinth
01-10-2012, 12:36 AM
he did that mid-sentence ending on purpose I bet.

Glad to see your back Last,i liked the "looking at me funny while armed" they should add that in game somehow.

As for the flame war,how bout we ask a dev to delete some posts in here,clean it up some,would be nice yes? I think last would be the one to decide if thats a good idea,and to ask for such a thing :>

buddhist23
01-10-2012, 01:03 AM
It's not really a flame war when one side is using facts and the other is calling "facts" trolling.

knightl
01-10-2012, 01:28 AM
he did that mid-sentence ending on purpose I bet.

Glad to see your back Last,i liked the "looking at me funny while armed" they should add that in game somehow.

As for the flame war,how bout we ask a dev to delete some posts in here,clean it up some,would be nice yes? I think last would be the one to decide if thats a good idea,and to ask for such a thing :>

yeah i fixed all my posts and looking at me while armed sounded like a old 70's qoute

buddhist23
01-10-2012, 01:13 PM
yeah i fixed all my posts and looking at me while armed sounded like a old 70's qoute

it is a pity that your posts were not fixed as well in my posts. Great to see you admitted to fixing your posts to hiding your ignorance. I mean gee, I expect at LEAST an apology for your behavior weeks ago and now another one for this. Do you know how to apologize to someone after calling them names? It's pretty preschool. Or-- you can hide and ignore what you've said knighty ( which may I add, are bad arguments ). But hey, take the easy way out and ignore your own wrongdoings. Nothing wrong with that- if you're a kid. I'll start first then, I'm sorry for pointing out your errors and asking for a proper sentence because your post was impossible too understand without punctuation. :D