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NobleIre
02-08-2011, 08:50 AM
Gather round children and listen to my tale..

Once upon a time, not too terribly long ago at all, a great clan of Curse Breakas tromped merrily across the wide farmlands of the Rollingplain. It was their Winter Romp - a romp being a delightful orcish military campaign - and many had fallen to the might of their overwhelmingly powerful orcish iron.

A stronghold lay behind them, sacked of its grain and gold and swine, and many a farmhouse had been merrily set ablaze by the marauders as they romped across the plains. As the Curse Breakas came upon a particularly large farming settlement, they paused to rest their weary feet.

Now, this settlement was called Swineattle, and was known for its remarkably large boars. The orcs were impressed by the size of these orcs and demanded to know how they had grown so long. However, the farmers couldn't tell them. "That's just how they grow here." The farmers would tell them fearfully.

This didn't please the orcs at all, but soon they found something else to distract them. "These boars are so big" One orc began, "Why, I bet that even I could ride it!" To this the farmers were alarmed and they pleaded with the orcs not to ride their prized swine. "You are too large, even for our swine. Please, will you not go?"

"No." The orcs replied. "We will ride your boars." And with this, the orcs began mounting the boar and attempting to ride them in some form of military formation. It was not long, however, before even the great Swineattle boars were exhausted by the weight of the orcs. The orcs were most displeased.

"These swine make terrible mounts!" They roared angrily. "They're stubborn and ill suited for a saddle.. and tire too easily. Now, I scarcely even want to eat one!" They huffed and brooded over what to do, their spirits quite down now.

Finally, one orc had an idea. "Why, I wonder how far such a boar would fly!" He exclaimed in excitement. The other orcs perked up and all nodded in agreement; this would certainly be exciting.

So they loaded the boar up onto their catapults and launched them high over the settlement. The farmers all closed their eyes and sobbed as they watched their prized boar go flying into the nearby sea. "HA! I think mine landed on a shark!" Exclaimed one orc boisterously.

The orcs all laughed, having a merry time as they launched boar after boar. When all the b oar were gone they left the settlement. With their spirits high, they smiled and went on a'romping.

EdwardTheGreat
02-08-2011, 02:06 PM
Haha, I love your of writings. They are extremely well written, the imagery is amazing, and to top all of that off, the humor is quite funny. Great Job Bro!! :D

NobleIre
02-08-2011, 07:16 PM
Thanks again! This one was deliberately even more lighthearted.

TheHoboGod
02-09-2011, 03:17 PM
I think you're on to something for a new unit......


Other than that, fantastic work!

NobleIre
02-09-2011, 06:25 PM
lol, what - the boar launcher or the boar cavalry? XD

Lord-Luis15
02-12-2011, 07:08 AM
Great story friend

b1tsn1ff3r
02-12-2011, 08:34 PM
pretty cool story!

Alex Walz
02-13-2011, 01:53 AM
I love your juxtaposition of the merry and the horrifying. :)

NobleIre
02-13-2011, 11:05 AM
I love your juxtaposition of the merry and the horrifying. :)

lol. Thanks much! ^.^