View Full Version : Fanfic Entry - "Two and a Half Men"

07-09-2010, 10:01 PM
Two and a Half Men

The three dwarves stumbled out of the tavern to the street, drunk out of their minds. They had been visiting Felsing while looking for work to do. It was the middle of the night and the tavern owner required the town guard to remove the dwarves from the building. The dwarves were originally going to be cutting lumber for a local merchant, but it seemed that was not the case. The merchant was in the tavern with the dwarves, and he had seemed to have left much earlier. Carlos Olrac, the leader of the three dwarves, collapsed on the street. Skald Hammarfists and Doldrirr Ironheart rushed over to help him, though Skald tripped and fell on the way. He decided it was just best to stay where he was and sleep. Doldrirr, confused at it all, sat on the dirt pathway, having a realization of what they had all become, “Skald, Doldrirr, look at what we’ve become. We’re no better than the thieves and looters in this city. I don’t know if you’re with me, but I say that it is time that we make a change!” Doldrirr said, his speech slurred, but the message was clear. The other two, half-unconscious, said nothing. Doldrirr gave in to his drunkenness and slept on the path.

The morning came soon enough, each of the dwarves having a massive headache. It took them a few minutes to figure out where they were. Once all 3 of them were awake, Carlos spoke, “Doldrirr, you are right,” he started, his thick dwarven accent easily understood by the other two, “I think it is time we begin new lives, put all of this behind us. I ask you now, though, simply how? I’ve lived like this for as long as I remember, but—“ Carlos stopped mid-sentence. He seemed like he was thinking of something, and then asked, “Where is that merchant we met last night at the tavern?”

“Not a clue, though he may be at the market,” Skald replied. Carlos quickly started walking down the road towards the market, and the other two soon followed. Upon arrival, it seemed there were many people there. Finding the merchant that they barely knew would be hard. He was a human, much like the inhabitants of the city. The dwarves were hungry, but they ignored it for the time being. They went around to all of the lumber merchants, and finally found who they were looking for.

“Ah, you three! Haven’t given up on my work yet, have you? I knew you would come through! Now, what I need done isn’t exactly easy. We have to travel through the forest to my storage building. I’ve heard that bandits, among other things, are very active in the forests. Are you up for this or not?” the merchant was asking. The dwarves stood there for a few moments, until Skald nodded. The merchant seemed very glad, and told them where to go, “Meet me by the town’s gates in a few hours and we’ll go.” The dwarves walked around the market, looking for things to buy, though they didn’t end up buying anything. A few hours passed and they decided to go to the gates.

The merchant was waiting for them with a horse-driven cart full of lumber, “One of you, sit on the back of the cart. The other two stand next to the horse on either side,” the merchant instructed. Carlos volunteered himself to go on the cart, and Doldrirr and Skald took position next to the horse. A few hours pass of travelling through the forest, when a loud growling noise is heard. The tree cover above makes the forest seem dark, so the dwarves are unable to see what it is.

“Ya hear that?” Skald Hammarfists says as he draws his dwarven axes out, “I’ll take care of this.” He walks forward with a torch in-hand. The light illuminates a figure, and Skald is stricken with fear instantly, “It be a young dragon!” Doldrirr and Skald move to the side as Carlos Olrac speeds the horse up which is pulling the cart. As the cart passes by the dragon, Carlos draws his axes and leaps at it. Doldrirr and Skald charge in, screaming at the top of their lungs.

Carlos hits the dragon in the neck, and pulls his axe out. The dragon seems stunned. Skald charges at the dragon and scores a hit on the young dragon’s torso. The dragon is bleeding heavily, but still alive and fighting. Doldrirr goes to attack, but the dragon quickly swipes his arm and his battleaxe goes flying into a nearby tree, becoming lodged. The young dragon quickly lunges towards Skald, who is within a few feet of it. The dragon bites Skald in the arm, causing major bleeding, though it did not hurt Skald much. Skald becomes enraged and hits the dragon in the leg, crippling it. He then takes a second attack and strikes the skull of the dragon, fatally wounding and killing it.

Carlos Olrac runs over to the merchant angrily, “You never told us about DRAGONS. We expected bandits and most, but DRAGONS?”

“Dragons are not native to this area, someone must have brought them in,” the merchant began, “I’ve heard rumors of a corrupt group of merchants seeking to have all the power. Perhaps it was them? We shall finish delivering this wood to my storage and then report this to the authorities,” He told the dwarves. Skald was still heavily bleeding, so they decided it was best if he took the position on the cart. He worked on bandaging his wound while they travelled, and soon arrived at the storage building.

The dwarves quickly unloaded the lumber and put it in the building, and they quickly set to go back to Felsing. The journey back was uneventful, and they quickly went to the guards’ barracks, the merchant with them. They knocked on the door and the chief of the guards answered, recognizing the dwarves from the night before, as he had to remove them from the tavern, “What is it?”
Doldrirr started to speak, “We were helping this fine merchant here, sir, when a young dragon attacked us on the pathway in the forest out of the city.”

“A dragon?” the guard asked, “You have to be kidding me. How can I believe you? You’re a group of drunken dwarves.” With that, Skald stepped forward and showed the guard his wound. The guard’s jaw dropped and he quickly went into the building for a few moments. Soon enough, a soldier came running out towards the town square, “I’ve told him to notify everyone in the town and report any sightings,” the guard said, his weak nerves showing in his voice.

“Well, if you need any help, we are here,” Carlos said to the man.

“What, are you mercenaries? I could use you to help investigate all of this and help my men if anything shows up,” the guard stated, “I can pay you a fair wage and it would be much appreciated.”

“That seems fair. What needs done?” Skald said, speaking for the others, “We can do nearly anything.”

“First of all, you and your merchant friend need to find out where these things are coming from. I’ve heard rumors around the city, as you probably have heard yourself,” the guard ordered the dwarves. And so, they went to the market in search of any information they could get their hands on. They spent a good part of the day there before finding anything. Skald was pretending to be a beggar, and overheard a conversation between two merchants. He heard the word ‘dragon’ passed around a few times. He began to pursue and saw them enter a rather large building. Unable to enter, he went to find Carlos and Doldrirr.

Skald found the other two dwarves and told them what he’d heard. Carlos stood there for a moment, then spoke, “Let’s go, I doubt we’ll need help to take down a couple of merchants,” They walked to the building Skald had seen the merchants enter. Doldrirr attempted to open the door, and it was unlocked.

“Not too smart of them to leave this unlocked if they’ve got anything to hide. So what’s our plan?” Skald whispered as they three dwarves entered the building.

“Just stay together and search the place,” Carlos instructed. He led the way while the other two followed.

Other parts are in other posts.

Henry Martin
07-09-2010, 10:27 PM
I love the title.:D Its great to see a story with dwarves in it. This is a really great start. Can't wait to read more.

I also started on a story about dwarves myself. I don't know if I'll post it. I have about a page right now.

07-09-2010, 11:05 PM
Just a note for any forum admins that read this, indentation on the forums is broken. While editing the indents are shown, while they do not show after you have posted.

07-10-2010, 01:01 AM
Just a note for any forum admins that read this, indentation on the forums is broken. While editing the indents are shown, while they do not show after you have posted.

That's an issue with vBulletin, which is what I believe the boards are using. We have the same issue with ours and it's using PHPBB3.

Alex Walz
07-10-2010, 01:35 AM

Alex Walz
07-10-2010, 01:44 AM
Oh, I see what you're doing now. It's not a software problem, browsers just don't recognize indent spaces as valid characters.

There's no easy way to indent the first line of a paragraph, but if you knew CSS, you could do it for your website. Typing   (the HTML code equivalent for a single space) five times before the paragraph would work too, but HTML's disabled for this forum. You can indent whole paragraphs with our [indent] bb code, but you can't single out lines to indent without custom code.

07-10-2010, 02:50 AM
I try to stay out of our .css files as much as possible. I've been known to go for 20+ hrs. straight editing stuff until it's "just right"... I just recently spent around 30 hrs. doing little profile rank images for 133 different flavors of branch of service and last held rank combinations for my members to use in their profiles/posts. :D

07-10-2010, 02:42 PM
Oh, I see what you're doing now. It's not a software problem, browsers just don't recognize indent spaces as valid characters.

There's no easy way to indent the first line of a paragraph, but if you knew CSS, you could do it for your website. Typing   (the HTML code equivalent for a single space) five times before the paragraph would work too, but HTML's disabled for this forum. You can indent whole paragraphs with our [indent] bb code, but you can't single out lines to indent without custom code.

I see. Thanks for the reply, good to know.

EDIT: Also have another part nearly ready to post. Will do so in a while

07-10-2010, 06:38 PM
The dwarves entered the rather small corridor at the front of the building. It wasn’t very well lit, the only light coming through the small window slit on the door. They passed into the first room, which was empty other than some books and furniture. The dwarves did not talk at all, remaining as silent as possible (Though, they are dwarves. They are rather clumsy.). Leaving the room, they decided to check upstairs. Doldrirr went first, followed by Carlos and then came Skald. There were many doors in this hallway, all of which were closed but one. Carlos pointed at the room and the other two nodded. Hands on their weapons, they ran into the room.

The room was completely empty, nobody and nothing in it. The dwarves took their hands off of their weapons, breathing a sigh of relief. They went back into the hallway, unsure of which room to check next. Doldrirr opened one of the doors, the room completely empty as well, “I doubt we’re going to find anything here, let’s just leave,” Doldrirr said rather loudly.

“We can’t leave, this is our job, and we must complete it,” Carlos answered with a rather harsh tone.

“Can we at least wait downstairs, in case anyone enters without us knowing?” Doldrirr replied.

Carlos gave in, “If you really want to, go alone. We won’t be there to guard your back,” With that said, Doldrirr went back to the main floor. With very little light, he decided to stay in one place. He stayed in the room closest to the main door, so that he was out of sight of anyone who came in and he could easily sneak up on and attack them.

Carlos and Skald had finished searching all of the rooms on the upper level. Nobody was found, each of the rooms was completely empty. They went down to check on Doldrirr and see if anything had happened, and something had. They saw Doldrirr face-down on the floor, blood trickling from his back. He had a stab wound in his back, but was not dead. “We have to get him out of here, quickly! Grab his legs,” Carlos shouted as he grabbed Doldrirr’s arms. They hurried out of the building and to the local healer.

“Multiple stab wounds in the back, I’m surprised he’s still alive, to be honest,” the healer was telling them, “I’ll do my best, though I can’t promise that will be enough.”

“Thank you. We hope our friend will have a quick recovery, knowing his fate is in your hands,” Skald replied to the healer. Carlos and Skald left the building and back to the market. Now they had nothing, literally. No money, no information for their job, a dying friend.

“We might as well go tell the captain that we won’t be able to finish the job,” Carlos said as the two walked along a small pathway of dirt leading from the market. They reached the guards’ barracks, and Skald knocked. Once again, the captain answered.

“Any luck with it? Find anything useful?” He said rather quickly, not noticing the grim faces which the dwarves were making.

“Doldrirr was stabbed and is currently being looked after by the local healer. We were searching a building and he decided to watch the main floor for anyone. We went down after we checked the upper floor, and he was on the ground covered in blood,” Skald explained.

“Interesting. Did you hear any of this happening?” the captain asked. The dwarves replied that they did not. “I’ll send some soldiers to that building and investigate. You’re free to go, I’ll find you if we have anything to tell you.” The dwarves left the barracks, unsure of what to do next. They agreed that they should try getting some sleep, as it was getting late.

The night passed, neither of them getting much sleep. The events of the day haunted them, and they were unsure of what to do about it all. Many thoughts crossed their minds, but none of them seemed right. The dwarves could search for the enemies, but wouldn’t be able to fight them if they had superior numbers. The dwarves could wait to be attacked, but again wouldn’t be able to fight the enemies off. Nothing they could do would work very well in this situation at all.

The two dwarves went to check on Doldrirr. Upon arrival at the healer’s building, Doldrirr was not there. “Healer! Where is our friend?” Skald shouted across the room as soon as he saw the healer who had been taking care of their friend.

“You two came in here last night and took him with you, saying you didn’t need my help anymore,” the healer answered, “Though you did look a little different, not sure why.”

“Imposters, eh? Knowing that people who look like us are running around doesn’t help this situation at all.” Skald replied. He knew that this could, and would get even worse. The dwarves both knew there was no way out of this other than getting their friend back, which was now their primary goal. Gold, weapons, armor, and fame didn’t matter at all, now. They just wanted to see their friend safe, and there was only one way to do that.

Henry Martin
07-10-2010, 08:42 PM
Ooo now I really want to

07-10-2010, 11:20 PM
I should have more for tomorrow. :P

07-12-2010, 06:21 PM
Doldrirr woke up on a freezing cold stone floor. He was in a lot of pain and could barely move. His wounds had stopped bleeding, but he could not see a thing. The room was completely dark. He slowly lifted himself and stood up. He had no energy, was starving, dehydrated, and utterly confused. He walked forward until he felt a wall, which then led to a door. The door was locked and he did not have the strength to break it. The blood was moving from his head, and he was beginning to feel lightheaded, so he sat down.

He sat in there for hours, just thinking. Doldrirr thought about his family, his friends, and what he would’ve been able to do if he weren’t stuck in there. He thought about why he would be in there, why he was stabbed, and how to get out, most of all. He hadn’t eaten or drank in quite some time, and had no energy left. He felt like he would die, confined in this small space.

Even more time passed, when Doldrirr heard footsteps. A small part of the door opened, light filled the room. Food and water came through the small hole near the bottom of the door. Doldrirr quickly began shouting, but there was never any reply. He was still stuck in there. He quickly devoured the small amount of food, and drank the water. The room was dark once again, and he was alone. It seemed as though he was some sort of prisoner, and this was his cell. He could do nothing but wait and hope something would happen in his favor.

Carlos Olrac and Skald Hammarfists met by the town gates, having eaten and preparing for the journey ahead of them. They were together on this, just the two of them. They were unsure of what they would do or where they would go, but they would not give up. Curious, Carlos asked one of the guards a question, “Have two dwarves passed by these gates today?”

“Yes, just last night, I’m pretty sure. They were heading south of here,” The guard replied. Carlos went and told Skald this, and they soon followed the pathway from the city, going south. There were cart tracks in the dirt, and they did not look that old.

“Shall we follow them?” Skald asked Carlos.

“It’s our best bet at finding Doldrirr, let’s do it,” Carlos replied, picking his pace up a bit. They walked for what seemed like hours, until the cart tracks turned off into a side-path. They stuck close to the foliage as they walked along the path. After a few minutes, the path opened up and they saw a building in front of them. It looked to be made of rough stone. Outside of the building was a cart, along with a few weapons. The dwarves made their way towards the door, and each put their back to the wall of the building next to the door. Skald tried opening it, but it was locked.

Unsure of what they would face inside, both dwarves hit the wooden door with their axes. It shattered, and they rushed in, “Grukk!” The two dwarves heard. There were orcs here, “Gellem(enemy) seg okka(is here)! Harragen(charge)!” The two dwarves saw two rather large orcs. Skald threw one of his axes at the larger of the two, and both dwarves charged. Carlos hit the back of the smaller orc’s knee with his axe, and the orc fell to the ground. Skald took his axe to the fallen orc’s neck, nearly decapitating him. The larger orc had a club, and swung it at Carlos. It hit, sending Carlos flying back a few feet. Skald charged and hit the orc in the arm, disarming him. Bloodied, Carlos got up and ran at the back of the orc. He sunk his axe into the back of the orc, who then fell to the ground in pain, though not dead. Skald put his axe into the skull of the orc, killing him.

“Brindassa(Who is there? Identify yourself!)! I smell gellemakk(orc blood)!” they heard another orc shout. He sounded enraged. The dwarves stood frozen as they saw an even larger orc in heavy armor come around the corner. He had a great axe, and looked like he was out to kill. Both dwarves charged at him, their smaller axes in-hand. The orc swung at Carlos and missed, his axe smashing into the stone floor. Rocks flew everywhere. Skald got behind the orc and hit the back of the orc’s right leg. Blood shot out everywhere, but the orc kept on fighting. The orc kicked Skald away from his leg, sending him into a wall. Carlos went for the front of the orc’s right leg, hoping to disable it. He got the orc directly on the knee, and the leg was severed. Even more blood shot out, and the orc fell.

The dwarves search the whole of the building, and found nobody. All that was found were a few weapons and some gold. Carlos and Skald left the building, rather disappointed. They were both hurt, though not too badly. They went back to the main road, searching for anything else to follow, but found nothing. Instead, they just followed the road south, seeing where it would take them. They passed by many merchants and caravans, though none were dwarves. They passed by groups of mercenaries, though none were dwarves.

They were nearly ready to give up. They had no idea where their friend could be, and no idea how to find out where he would be. They set up camp in the forest, just off of the side of the road, making sure that the foliage concealed them. They stayed for the night, though could hardly get any sleep once again. The noises of the forest kept them awake, as well as the thoughts in their head, not knowing what to do.

07-13-2010, 11:51 AM
Great story work. Look forward to further postings.

07-13-2010, 01:51 PM
Hopefully I'll write up some and post it before tomorrow.

07-15-2010, 11:12 PM

Doldrirr’s thoughts were getting crazy. The confusion, the hunger, the thirst. He needed out of the cell, fast. The door was too hard to break, and was locked. The walls were all stone and there were no windows. He was stuck in there, and there was nothing he could do about it. Once again, he heard footsteps, and the little hole in the door opened, drink and food coming through. He once again ate the food, which was the same as last time. He drank the water quickly as well, and noticed it seemed very dirty.

As soon as Doldrirr finished his water, he quickly set about searching the room for any other exits. He slid his hand across the wall, rough slabs of stone jutting out, though none of it could be moved. The only exit was through the door. Knowing he couldn’t break through the door, he decided to formulate a plan on how to get himself out of the cell, while his captor would be put into the cell. Thoughts ran wild in his mind, and he came upon a great plan. He began planning it out right away.

Carlos and Skald woke up. The day before had been hectic, and they were still feeling the pains of the fight with the orcs. They would rather stay and rest, but they had to get going, “Just keep heading south, I presume?” Skald asked Carlos.

“Yes. If we see any suspicious buildings or people, we question or attack. Got it?” Carlos replied, emphasizing on the ‘attack’.

“Alright, but let’s try to get it right this time!” Skald said, knowing that they had no sure way of finding the right place. He was more so giving himself false hope than trying to tell Carlos something. Carlos noticed this, noticing that Skald seemed very scared that Doldrirr might be injured even worse than before, or possibly even dead. Carlos shared the same fear, but hid it. The two continued heading south, prepared and willing to do anything it took to save their friend.

The travel was long, but they saw two dwarves pass by them, “Get behind the bushes, follow cautiously,” Carlos instructed Skald. They followed the two unknown dwarves down the path for an hour or so, until they went through some dense shrubs at the side of the road. Carlos and Skald followed slowly, hands on their weapons as they went through the thick plants. On the other side, there was a building. It was more of a shack, really. Small and out of the way. Skald and Carlos stayed close to the bushes, trying to stay hidden. They saw the two unknown dwarves put something through the door of the building, and began to walk away, laughing. Skald jumped out of hiding.

“What’s in there, boys?” Skald began, “Hiding something?” The anger was obvious in his voice.

“Uh, no. Who’s asking?” One of the unknown dwarves said. Carlos could hear something coming from the building, sounds being blocked by something. He drew his weapon and ran at the two unknown dwarves. Skald soon followed. The other two dwarves were armed. One had a crossbow and a small war axe. The other dwarf had a large great axe. Like usual, Carlos and Skald both had two small war axes each. The dwarf with the crossbow raised his weapon and fired at Carlos, catching him in the left thigh. Carlos continued to charge, the adrenaline making him shrug off the pain. The dwarf readied another bolt, and fired it once again at Carlos’ left thigh. Again, Carlos felt nothing and continued to charge.

They met not too far from the building. The two unknown dwarves drew their melee weapons as Skald and Carlos charged. Carlos went forward at the dwarf with the great axe with his two axes. The other dwarf easily parried the attack, and Carlos staggered back. Skald and the single war axe dwarf were fighting it out. They continued to block and doge each others’ attacks, the unknown dwarf proving more skilled with the single axe than Skald was with the two. The dwarf with the great axe began his attack on Carlos, as he raised his great axe. He swung it down on Carlos, who just barely moved out of the way of it.

The great axe was swung once again at Carlos, hitting him in his left leg and sweeping him off of his feet. At this point, Carlos was bleeding a great deal from the two bolts, and now the axe hit. All of this was on his left leg, though he still felt nothing. His mind was set in motion on saving Doldrirr. He swung his axes at the great axe dwarf, who sidestepped him. The dwarf took another swing at Carlos, hitting his right arm. Carlos was starting to feel the great pain, and he was losing energy. Carlos, noticing his enemy was repositioning from the last attack, lunged at the dwarf. He sunk his axes into the dwarf’s skull. Blood poured out everywhere, and Carlos was drained of his energy. He fell to the ground.

Noticing that Carlos had fallen, Skald’s anger grew. His attacks became faster and more furious. He attacked with his left-hand axe, scoring a hit on the wrist of the other dwarf. The dwarf’s hand fell to the ground as he screamed, weapon in that hand. Skald’s other axe came around and hit the dwarf clean in the throat. The blood of the dwarf shot over the ground and onto Skald. This battle was over, and he ran over to the building. Skald opened the door, and Doldrirr slowly walked out. Skald had nothing to say, and so he ran over to Carlos.

Carlos was on the ground in a pool of blood, barely breathing. Doldrirr and Skald ran over and kneeled down next to him. Carlos knew he was dying and knew he shouldn’t have been so stupid as to let his anger get his focus off of battle. With that in his head, he spoke, “Men, it wasn’t easy, and I’m sorry. You have a new life; can do what you want, now. Start a family, whatever,” he was breathing heavily every few words, running out of breath.

“I owe you my life. I can’t do any of that, now. I’m going to find whoever these peoples’ leader is and kill him personally,” Doldrirr spoke, his anger towards the other two dwarves having shown in his voice.

“You won’t be alone, Doldrirr,” Skald spoke, “We do this together.”

“Well, it seems that I’m done, here. Now, my boys, go kick some ass for me,” Skald said with his last breath. His eyes rolled back into his head, and he was dead.


Hope you all enjoyed it, I will continue it in the future, not for the contest. Really enjoying this.

Henry Martin
07-16-2010, 12:46 AM
Great story. Only complant on the last part is you didn't say how doldrirr got out of his cell. One minute hes in his cell the next hes next to carlos.

07-16-2010, 12:54 AM
I worded it a bit weirdly, just noticed. Skald ran over and opened the door. I'll fix it.

07-16-2010, 10:55 AM
Here’s a small teaser of the next story.

Ulrik Darkspyre ran through the forest, unsure of where he was going. He had just witnessed the murder of his best friend, and his mind was running wild. Everyone close to him had been killed. His family died, his friends died, and nobody was left. Ulrik was a mage, yes, but not good enough to take down an entire squadron of heavily-armed men. Ulrik was running quickly, not even looking where he was going when he came upon a small clearing. Not looking forward, he tripped on a log. As he stood up, he saw two dwarves looking at him.

Henry Martin
07-16-2010, 01:32 PM
oooo..nice, a new character.

07-17-2010, 01:03 AM
Yep, there will be much more than just a single new character, though.

07-25-2010, 09:36 PM
Just an update on this, I'll be releasing the next story within the next couple weeks. I want to finish it all before releasing it.

08-28-2010, 04:39 PM
Just got back from a vacation, will post SOMETHING tomorrow. Sorry for making you all wait!

Alex Walz
09-05-2010, 02:18 PM
Is it tomorrow yet? :D

Henry Martin
09-05-2010, 05:36 PM
Yeah. We want more!:D

09-09-2010, 05:11 PM
Blegh, I actually forgot about it. :(

Work and such has been busy, as well as I'm making a campaign and am a co-owner of a large Minecraft community. Not to mention I'm (re)starting a blog of mine.

So long as I remember, I'll write something up tonight.

12-03-2010, 11:39 PM
Nice story with a great title. Dwarves are awesome!

12-05-2010, 04:32 PM
Hope its as good as the show "Two and a Half men"

01-18-2011, 06:32 PM
Going to re-boot this soon.
I am back!

01-31-2011, 04:09 AM
An epic tale in the making

01-31-2011, 02:27 PM
Nice story, enjoyed reading it :)

01-28-2012, 04:42 PM
I haven't touched this in much too long, need to seriously get back into writing it. ;)