View Full Version : Grrrrr MADA!! (Fan Fiction Competition)

Khan kreiger
07-03-2010, 10:49 AM
If you are having trouble with some of the orc words just go to the Fantasy Friday XXXIII-The Lore & Fantasy Behind Mythador. But hope you enjoy the story

When the war of the Lost Kings was over many years past of peace and generosity. That peasants,merchants and soldiers would brave the lands of Gokkholm without any caution. For days now a storm was brewing up and finally after hundreds of herds from the grassland region of the Wold stampeded to Brakkental in Gokkholm region, Lightning struck making a huge crater in the sands of Brakkental making birth to an orc. The humans in Teria all feared him and the orcs called him..........Grrrr Mada!(fierce master). This savage orc first started off as a loan orc just trying to survive in Brakkental, luckily the storm he made those herds of cows,pigs and sheep flee into Brakkental. But they were not as lucky as this loan orc for they could not survive in this wasteland.

A year has past and the orc has grown tired of all the none killing he was doing. He went of the region of Thikken dal. He has been watching a group of men hunt in these forest,kill some squads of goblins and orcs. Couple of days have passed and he quenched the thirst of man blood he got weapons and armor off the orcs that the men killed and didn't bother to loot. As the men finished of hunting some deer the orc crouched in a bush waiting for the men to eat and get full, as the sun set one man went off to take a leak while the others laid around a fire. The orc picks up his sword....but doesn't go for the easy man to kill but he walks out the bush standing 6ft, arms and legs pulsing with strength, eyes red in the middle and yellow on the outside and breath smelling like an ogres armpit. The men quickly got up grabbed swords and bows. One man pulls an arrow out his bag on his back and fires, the orc blocks with his arm and the arrow goes right out the other side of his arm...but still in and without a sign of pain. three men charge and the orc shouts out RIBBEET GELLEM(Die enemy), it was so fierce and filled with hatred that the three men froze up. The orc walks up and punches one in the face shattering his jaw, cuts off anothers arm and throws the last one at a tree that was atleast 15ft away. The man with the bow ran away long time ago and the orc sat down and ate the rest of their food. The man that went off to take a leak later came back in the morning to see his comrades heads on spikes.

Word has spread of this killing machine far and wide, many wanted him dead and many wanted to kill under his doing. Just two years has past of that attack and this loan orc has now got himself followers, not only just orc follower but rebel humans and dark elves have come to his side. Humans have grown tired of this orc and his followers same as the elves but the elves didn't want to get into battle unless it was on their own land for boost of magic.

The orc and his follower went straight into Teria region. The men, women and children were scared and all travelled to the great fortess/city/capital of Dagbor. After a week the orc has reach Dagbor with his five thousand orcs, nine hundred rebel men, thousand dark elves, hundred catapults, twenty siege towers, thirty ladders and five battering rams. Darkness fell over the city as there was no wind. The men had ten trebuchets on the wall, six hundred archers and three hundred swordsmen on the first wall. The orc spoke and said DRELL-DRELL(forward) as soon as the got close enough he said GEGARK!(hault)....they aimed getting ready and with his fierce roar he says SKARRAV(attack) for the catapults. They fire down on Dagbor and the humans return the favor as their commander yells FIRE. Several hours pass as no sun comes up to give the men a sign of hope. The first wall is on fire with black smoke coming from the towers where the trebuchets sit un-occupied. The orc speaks again DRELL-DRELL(forward) SEIGE TOWERS, REBEL MESSRA TA(allies) DRELL-DRELL(forward) TAKE THE WALLS NO GELLEM(enemy) SURVIVES LOOT AND BURN AAAARGH!!. The towers move to the walls with nine hundred men stacked in them. The human wall commander orders the remaining three hundred archers to use fire arrows and aim at the wooden parts of the seige towers. A volley of arrows sore the sky and down on the siege towers and instantly two catch fire with rebel men jumping out to not catch fire. About thirteen siege towers make it and the orc leader grunts whispering Ahag(well met). The orc leader speaks sayin DRELL-DRELL(forward) battering rams along with a thousand orcs for cover. The battering rams reach undetected because of the rebel men already fighting off men on the walls. The gate breaks and the orcs still in formation chant in victory while the thousand orcs swarm in like locust killing off men and burning the houses. The first wall commanders sees this and yells FALL BACK TO THE SECOND WALL MEN. Trying to fall back most of the men got slaughtered only twenty archers and sixty men made it back excluding the first wall commander. The men were scared as their moral was very low so they fell back across the two bridges to protect the keep. The orc leaders scout told him of this and his whole army laughs with disscust of how pathetic men are. As the battle goes on more followers have heard of the orcs campaign to take out Dagbor. fifty ogres fully armed, two thousand orcs and five hundred impaler/slayer warg riders joined the fight. The orc speaks to the leader of this army Ah mara!(warm greeting) says the Gr Mada the orc leader says Harra(nice to see you) Gr Mada!. The Gr Mada says time to terredd(kill) gellem(enemy). As he orders the ogres to rush in and destroy the place along with three thousand orcs. Three days pass the human king is surround in the keep....but the Gr Mada just tells his army to leave.

The king hears the orcs marching off and gets up to his inner wall to see the damage and all he sees is bodies of men, orcs, ogres and wargs. an orc hiding under bodies pops up with an arrow...aims and fires, hitting the king straight threw his neck falling off the wall. Since the elves opposed no threat the Gr Mada didn't bother to attack their capital. The casualties didn't matter at the battle of Dagbor because his army tripled in power with seven teen thousand orcs, two thousand seven hundred rebel men, three thousand dark elves, hundred fifty ogres thousand five hundred warg riders, three hundred catapults, sixty siege towers, ninety ladders and fifteen battering rams. Many years later he took over the elves and heard them talk about other lands further north with many creatures stronger then orcs...BAHA thats not possible the Gr Mada says. He ventures forth for more glory to his kind.

Khan kreiger
07-03-2010, 10:58 AM
oops how do i fix the title:confused: i spelt competition wrong

Henry Martin
07-03-2010, 11:34 AM
I'm going to read this, but you should break this into paragraphs to make it easier to reaed.

Khan kreiger
07-03-2010, 11:35 AM
ok will do im sorry i was really thinking about that:p

Henry Martin
07-03-2010, 12:21 PM
Thanks. Thats a pretty good read. Interesting that you had the different races working together under the Orc.

Khan kreiger
07-03-2010, 12:26 PM
Thank you. I thought i was a good idea too so no one was really being ganged up and that everyone was involved:)

Alex Walz
07-03-2010, 11:25 PM
Fixed title.

Haven't read it yet, but I might suggest defining your orc words. ;) If you've seen any of the quest dialog screenshots, you'll notice that our writers always pair an elven or orc word with the English translation unless that word is used commonly - like Grrr Mada or nhoblio. The scattered orc/elven words you see are meant to add a bit of spice to the text, not to complicate or take away from its meaning.

Anyway, just a suggestion. You've done a great job incorporating the language.

Khan kreiger
07-03-2010, 11:31 PM
thanks for the suggestion ill get right on that:) oh and thanks for fixing the title

07-04-2010, 12:29 AM
good story liked it a lot :) sep for the elves thing pfft we arnt that weak

07-04-2010, 07:04 AM
Fixed title.
:eek: No you didn't!

Fixed title.
Haven't read it yet, but I might suggest defining your orc words. ;) If you've seen any of the quest dialog screenshots, you'll notice that our writers always pair an elven or orc word with the English translation unless that word is used commonly - like Grrr Mada or nhoblio. The scattered orc/elven words you see are meant to add a bit of spice to the text, not to complicate or take away from its meaning.

Anyway, just a suggestion. You've done a great job incorporating the language.

If he continues the story, and reuses the words, he shouldn't need to! Ie. think Anthony Burgess

Khan kreiger
07-04-2010, 08:18 AM
good story liked it a lot :) sep for the elves thing pfft we arnt that weak

Haha im sorry maybe if i make a second part to it ill make some elves do more and better things in it:)

Khan kreiger
07-04-2010, 08:19 AM
:eek: No you didn't!

If he continues the story, and reuses the words, he shouldn't need to! Ie. think Anthony Burgess

If i continue the story I might use some of the same words but i will for sure use different words so ill put in bracket on what the words mean.

Khan kreiger
07-04-2010, 10:21 PM
Part 2

After the destruction of the capital cities Dagbor and Illas Tiltos in the Nhob' Ru and Teria region there was still some men able to fight and they all fled to Darssen as a last stand against the orc Gr Mada. The elves went out to sea to go further north where they had strong allies. Since the orc Gr Mada tripled his army in size he finally made two other generals named Grewgar and the other Mergoth. Both willing to serve under their masters plans and willing to die for his name. Grewgar joined the orc Gr Mada's army in the battle for Dagbor but didn't mention his name for it did not matter till he showed his loyalty by killing two hundred soldiers. He controls five thousand orcs, five hundred rebel men and thousand dark elves. There was no need for any catapults, battering rams, siege towers or ladders because he was just meant for open battle. Mergoth only had one thousand five hundred warg riders for a hit a run tactic.

The orc Grr Mada had order both generals to go to Darssen to kill the rest of these pathetic creatures they call warriors. While the two generals were taking out the humans the orc Gr Mada found documents from Doredale of making ships. His builders made many attempst but finally made two and one called Bireme the other just a rowboat. The bireme holds about one hundred and twenty men and a rowboat holds fifty men. They built she ships because the orc Gr Mada's scouts found out a couple days ago that the elves have got on some kind of creatures to go north. His builders made hundreds of bireme's and rowboats to not only move his army but to also bring over some builders to start a new settlement in the north.

After a week of traveling on sea one of the orc Gr Mada's scouts spotted and unusually huge turtle.....the orc scout says to his leader, GRR Mada! gellem seg okka(enemy is here) me's think's...DRELL(forward) screams the Gr Mada. They get close enough to see a HUGE sea turtle with walls and towers on its back. Orcs look over the sides of the bireme to see waves moving in an odd pattern. Tentacles come up around one ship wrapping around it and pulling it down with orcs jumping off the bireme. The Gr Mada grunts in anger and yells ORCS HARRAT HEH GARROGG!!(ready for battle)...TERREDD GELLEM!!. Then one orc says how we akk( cannot fight) what we cant see Gr Mada. Suddenly five female krakens come up and start attacking row boats and biremes, archers start to fire at there heads but the arrows deflect since the kraken has a hard shell over its head. The krakens took down two more ships and go back down under water.......the orcs have no choice but to wait. Gr Mada tells the archers to put oil on the arrows then use fire to cook them. The female krakens pop back up and Gr mada yells SKARRAV(attack for orcs) the oil sticks on and then the fire arrows come burning the krakens while the orcs chant of victory when the huge sea turtle still stands. The orcs look up to see elves boarded on this massive beast. Grr Mada whipsers Habbutoo(shaman curse) elves.....CATAPULTS SKARRAV THIS BEAST. As the fire balls just about hit a scout sees some elves doing some kind of spell for a force field of some kind. The Gr Mada speaks saying....we need to land on this beast men do you want some GELLEMAK!!(enemy blood) everyone yells URRR!!(yes). Grapple hooks shoot out from the front of the biremes and latch onto the sea turtles fins as it screams in pain. The Gr Mada didn't think it would work but he guessed that the mages needed to recharge. His men climb across the ropes and then start scaling the shell of the sea turtle as the elves on board fire down on the orcs preventing them from advancing up top the walls. Lucky the Gr Mada recruited the dark elves because they know magic aswell. The dark elves start casting fire balls at the walls and some orcs get on top the walls. Gr Mada says this if foolish bring up the ogres, as the ogres come up two massive ancient krakens come out the water and start destroying every ship coming towards them. The ogres trained from the orc Grr Mada personally don't easily take defeat. Five ogres drop their heavy shields and jump onto these krakens with their swords and start hacking away chopping off the tentacles. The sea fills red from the blood of this battle and it strengthens the orcs just the sight of blood. As the elves see they have no chance but they still fight to the last man.

Earlier before in the Teria region where the two generals Grewgar and Mergoth got their units in formation to seige Darssen. This fortress is over flowing with men, so much so that two thousand knights had to be outside the fortress and also for flanking the enemy. They had only three hundred archers and two thousand soldiers and only five trebuchets. Grewgar sees the little road his army has to get up to get to the gate so he decides to surround the castle and tells his men to use grapple hooks to climb the cliffs over the walls. He says to his men HARRAGEN!(charge) and some charge the gate and most climb the cliffs. As this is going on Mergoth and his warg riders are patrolling around making sure no one escapes but he doesn't know that two thousand knights are ready and waiting. A scout from the knights spots the warg riders and tells the general, the knights march. Mergoth spots the knights then yells HARRAGEN!!....his wargs charge with excitement for blood. The knights blow a horn to sound the charge. They clash and both men and orcs go flying off their mounts but the men have double the threat of a orc and a warg to deal with. Grewgars orcs reached the walls with surprise and start killing off archers and soldiers. The orcs breach the gate without a battering ram since the fortresses walls and gates aren't fully fortified. They take the city easily and have captured most. More then thirty percent asked for mercy and to join the orc army as rebel men the rest were food for the orcs even though they wernt hungry. They occupied the city to build up battering rams and catapults.

Further in the north where most of the elves reached a scout reported to a high elf to speak of dreded news. The scout says Bentita atro Mallee(good day friend) the high elve replies birethos mallee(greetings friend) the scout says gelmees(orcs) took out our great ato(water) krakio(weapons) the ollfah will be here in four days. The high elves replies...warn the asthmos(soldiers) to get their elros(sword) and firlos(arrow) it is time for KHALLEE!!(war)

01-20-2011, 11:34 PM
Nice read for someone who's extremely bored.

Joseph Visscher
01-20-2011, 11:53 PM
Ahem, Chapter 3 please!!! :D

So ... ahhh... Khan, you going to,,,, ahhh,,, play as Orcs in dawn of fantasy? Maybe? :rolleyes:

Just one mishap I could not resist bringing up.
"The Gr Mada speaks saying....we need to land on this beast men do you want some GELLEMAK!!"
Men,,,, MEN!!!, you mean ORCS! :p Your using 'men' and 'man' incorrectly, they refer to humans, Use Orcs, Orc, Orcish, Elves, Elf, and Elven. It does take away from the immersion your story creates.

(Thumps up)

Khan Tell me if you want me to delete everyone else's posts, and we can set up a whole bunch of reserved posts for you to edit in new chapters.

Khan kreiger
01-22-2011, 04:39 PM
aaah had no idea some people still read this, but ive been thinking of a chapter 3 just recently and to make it more detailed.....use your tip of use of the word men :P
Yes i will be playin as orcs of course i love them :D

02-03-2011, 01:17 PM
Didnt anderstand it

02-05-2011, 06:07 PM
you should seperate it into paragraphs make it easier to read