PDA

View Full Version : The Worst


ash12181987
02-08-2010, 04:20 PM
I do love literature and cinema.

I read as much as I can, and I make an effort to watch the greatest movies. I really enjoy posts about the bests of everything, but frankly the truth is that no intrest is put towards the truly Bad. For every Gone With the Wind, and The Departed, there is a string of truly Horrible Books and movies that leap on you like a mugger and beat you into horrified submission.

And I always thought, to know something to be good, you really have to experience the truly horrendous. Good coffee is only good, because you know what McDonald's serves. A quality beer is there, because you've once had your taste buds raped by natural ice. If everything was amazing, what fun would that be?

So, I want to know the Worst book or movie you've ever seen. Or both. And really explain it. Also, if it can be avoided, no Mystery Science Theater 3000, this is an opinion post, everyone is entitled to one.

Personally:
Book: The Assassani by Thomas Gifford. I found this little golden turd when after the DaVinci Code came out, I was really hoping to find some good Religious conspiracy novel. What I got, was something totally unreadable. My fiance, who lives off of bad romance novels couldn't even read it. I use it as a benchmark for people, to see how devoted they are... by lending it to them and seeing how far in they get before closing it and refusing to ever open it again out of disgust. The furthest anyone ever got was 100 pages... Out of 600. It's difficult to describe, the writing style is somewhere between an angsty teen and a frustrated postal worker; overwrought descriptions bogging you down in melancholy, with poorly placed action sequences, and ultimately unlikeable characters that all feel out of place (Like a jet setting nun, yeah muse that one over a a bit). It still holds a place of honor on my bookshelf: as a paperweight.

Movie: I've seen too many to list here, so it's difficult to say which is truly the worst. Honorable mentions go out to most of the action/science fiction/disaster/fantasy movies that the sci-fi channel as made. Also Plan 9 from Outer Space would likely be it, but much to my chagrin I've never actually seen it. And, while The 300 would be good, it is also my belief that some movies set out to be bad movies... and that defeats the purpose, sometimes making them decent movies (See, Snakes on the Plane, where a movie that doesn't take itself seriously at all, succeeds).

So, the worst movie I've ever seen was probably King of New York. All dark all the time, this film attempts a neo-noire style with schizophrenic flips between scenes highlighting the criminal career of the world's saddest man and his troupe of complete morons. No one plays a drug lord like Jack Nicholson, and Christopher Walken most assuredly fits that statement; maybe it is his face, but he always seems depressed and robotic while doing things that most of us, if we could get away with it, would be singing with delight. Though as an aside: it is hilariously funny to watch Laurence Fishbourne behave some like Flavor Flav, instead of Michael Patterson. The style in the film was one of its strong suites, but it still wasn't enough to save it in my eyes. It's a cash-in to Scarface, the fell far short of it's intended mark. Go Abel Ferrara!

Supreme
02-09-2010, 08:28 AM
I've seen some bad movies..the kind that makes you laugh..but isnt a comedy...;) Anyway if i remember titles il post em:P

blackfang
02-09-2010, 08:41 AM
OOO i love snakes on a plane. especially with the guy who is stamped on by the high healed woman and she breaks off the heel inside his brains:D

Thechampio2
02-22-2010, 06:40 AM
Worst movie of all time, and you can quote me, is Cube 2: Hypercube. Look it up. The first movie is absolutely terrible, consisting of a single set that they reuse over and over and some cruddy CG. The sequel is time that I will never get back from my life.

blackfang
02-22-2010, 07:15 AM
Worst movie of all time, and you can quote me, is Cube 2: Hypercube. Look it up. The first movie is absolutely terrible, consisting of a single set that they reuse over and over and some cruddy CG. The sequel is time that I will never get back from my life.

For this time i will make an exception and say, you are right on everything you said in that post. The cube is absolutely horrible! Trying to get into the next room, loosing a guy every now and then. Its just repetition, however i like the way some of them dies:D Thats the only entertaining part of it:(

willrockyo1
02-22-2010, 10:14 AM
Worst movie of all time, and you can quote me, is Cube 2: Hypercube. Look it up. The first movie is absolutely terrible, consisting of a single set that they reuse over and over and some cruddy CG. The sequel is time that I will never get back from my life.

haha yea dude we watched that together. What a waste of time! I can't believe you got me to watch the sequel. So glad we rented and didn't buy that. Most expensive coaster ever. :p

bikkebakke
02-22-2010, 10:39 AM
Worst movie of all time, and you can quote me, is Cube 2: Hypercube. Look it up. The first movie is absolutely terrible, consisting of a single set that they reuse over and over and some cruddy CG. The sequel is time that I will never get back from my life.

No... no no no, the worst movie ever made is Alien 3000.... dont ask me why I saw it, becouse i actually sat through the entire movie... belive me when i say that Cube 2: Hypercube is considered a A class movie compared to alien 3000.

zach12wqasxz
02-22-2010, 08:56 PM
i think the worst movie ever is " Its Complicated"

willrockyo1
02-23-2010, 09:38 PM
No... no no no, the worst movie ever made is Alien 3000.... dont ask me why I saw it, becouse i actually sat through the entire movie... belive me when i say that Cube 2: Hypercube is considered a A class movie compared to alien 3000.

I personally think that Dracula 3000 is the most abysmal film I've ever had to sit through. Absolutely mind numbing. Like that evil leprauchaun movie in space only not funny.

blackfang
02-24-2010, 12:00 AM
... have you ever seen old Norwegian films, you would die of horror before its over. SERIOUSLY! They are like the ultimate action you can find is when a guy run! And when they walk in their own home that they forgot to lock they get some kinda terror music that absolutely doesn't fit! Try that!