PDA

View Full Version : My story


welshie
01-25-2010, 02:32 PM
Someone wanted to read what i had started writing. so ima give you the start of my story, it is the start of the life of Arthas of the story that i wrote for the Create-a-battle compition. I hope you enjoy it but if you have any problems with it just say :)

The Chronicles of Arthas

Chapter one

It was early morning when our young hero Arthas was awoken by piercing trumpets coming from the streets outside of the citadel. Arthas was a young boy whose father Rand was the Lord of a fortress close to the borders of neighbouring Kingdoms, called Darssen of the Land Britonia. His father was an awe inspiring general and solider, he had completed successful campaigns against the elves and orcs, not mentioning the amount of local kingdoms. Today he was about to be honoured by the King Tirion himself, after his many years of service he was to be retired and recognised for his work. Arthas left his warm comfortable bed with reluctance and stumble towards his clothes and as he did so there was a bang at the door ‘Enter’ Arthas yelled.
As the door opened his fathers face peeked through the door he was in his best military ware ready to receive the King ‘Son hurry up and get ready, the King waits for no man.’
And with that he left, Arthas scrambled even more for his clothes and in doing so fell face first on the floor, composing himself he soon added his clothes to his body, his mum had the local tailors make him new clothes for the occasion and as he looked at the mirror he admired the local tailors work that or he was impressed with his body that his parents had given him.
Leaving his room towards the grand hall where his farther would be waiting for the king he was thinking what the king would be like as this would be the first time that Arthas would have met him, yes his farther was the kings favourite subject he had never visited Darssen and Arthas to busy with his studies in warfare, Literature, Mathematics, Science, geography and eleven Language kept him busy through out the year as it was his farther and his dream for him to take the rein of the Britonias army and keep there enemies at bay.
He was almost at the hall when he started to get nervous his farther had said that nerves were good but too many could kill a man, so he tried to hold them in as best he could. Entering the hall it self through a side entrance he saw his father waiting eagerly for the king, according to the servants he was still at the stable with his companions and guards. Arthas soon after entering went to his fathers’ side, good timing too the King soon entered after doing so he was followed by some other lords and a few guards ‘Welcome to Darssen, my king. Would you like a drink and a seat my Lord’ said Rand pointing at a seat at the table and the waving at the servants to pour some drinks.
‘Ahh Lord Rand it is good to see you’ He said whilst taking up his seat
‘Shame this time I have to bit you farewell from my military services. But hopefully in a few years time Arthas can take it up, I hope you don’t mind that Lord William, Nordred and Tomas have joined me, I did hope that your brilliance would of rubbed off on them while we wait for Arthas here to join me.’ joined King Tirion in conversation, Rand and Arthas soon joined the rest on the table joining in the drinks.
‘All I hope for my King is that I have enough beer to satisfy all tonight please enjoy the stay. Maid bring the beer and tell the cooks I want them to start the feast’ said Rand with a smile painted on his face. After a while of getting up-to-date Rand bellowed ‘Tonight we shall feast on local wild boar, would you all care to join me in the feasting hall’ Rand pointed towards the door ah he got from his seat.
As they followed Rand, Arthas took the time to get to know the lords the king had allowed to accompany him to Darssen.
Lord William was rather a middle aged man rather fat from to much feasting and rather unattractive but fine in clothes, he had lands near the Agian Sea. He said the pastures were among the richest in the land and that the beauty was beyond comparable to anything he had seen. The rich pastures had made him rich and he was one of the most powerful in the land second to only Tomas and the King. This meant that he had some of the best fortress’ In Britonia but not the most practical more for show but as he was far from enemy lands he didn’t have a strong armed force to assist the king.
Lord Nordred was a tall wide man who looked like he ate men for tea, he had a big scar across his face which had took his looks from him. He was almost opposite from William he was a Lord with lands far from the Sea and he said that the Land produced the hardest men as it was a rich mining town but had to import most of its food, he was a hardened campaigner as the border he was near belonged to the orcs which saw his land as easy pickings. And whilst having many successful campaigns against the orcs he was not comparable to his farther and tended to use the same tactics over again. But these campaigns were expensive and being so his fortresses were not extravagant compared to others, but they were practical so they did the job.
Finally Lord Tomas was a good looking man and quite young, his farther had passed away when he was young so he had inherited it early. He was from a land not rich in anything but was able to supply it self with plenty of food and ore so that he hardly ever needed to buy anything from any lord, this meant he was the richest in Britonia, and he had extravagant fortresses and towns to prove this. He had campaigned with his farther many times, his farther had enjoyed campaigning with Tomas and said he had been his best cavalry commander. He also bragged about how his forces were the best armed and best trained in Britonia.
Rand stopped at the huge door entering to the feasting hall, opining the doors gave sight of some of the finest carpentry in Mythador. ‘Fabulous isn’t it looted from an Elven fortress we captured, the elves don’t do much by half.’ Rand put in, then pointed everyone to there seats and barked at the servants to get the drinks.
‘Fine work I must say, these elves could teach us much in the ways of the art carpentry’ Tomas added
‘They do not use carpentry apparently they ask there forest for such extravagant woodwork’ Arthas put in.
The conversation continued as they sat down and started on the beer, it was a fine beer brewed from the finest hops in the land. The dinner progressed and the food came too, soon after entering, conversation flowed. Rand told tales of his adventures and the other lords telling there own. As the night came to the end the conversation turned to the young Arthas and how the king hoped he would fill his father’s shoes and about how he would miss Rand at the head of the army, then finally the king stood up beer in his hand ‘Tonight we celebrate the retirement of one of the best generals in the whole of Mythador he has changed my kingdom from a struggling land into a peaceful place. And in doing so he has become a close friend, I also have something I want to give to you’ the king said whilst pulling out a sword from a wrapped cloth ‘It has been made by the finest blacksmith in the lands made from the strongest steel’ the sword was the finest rand had seen even from Elven workmanship.
‘My lord this is too much I cannot accept it, I just did my duty to my king’ Rand quickly added.
‘Well then it is your duty to accept my gift, you have been a fine general to the land and with this sword it shall be know by all that you are one of the greatest in the history of Mythador!’ and with that Rand took the sword gave it one look over to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and then said.
‘My king this is a gift comparable to none I shall never fail to answer your call to help I shall be there when you need me, but I hope these lord will provide you with enough support. Now it is getting late the servants will show you to your room’ Pointed Rand as he finished.
‘The dinner was one of the finest yet Rand, you have a fine cook. But alas night calls us to our beds we shall leave early.’
As they all departed Arthas stayed behind reminiscing over the night, all the wondrous tales and the gallantry of the men on the table. But the person who left the biggest impression was the King, Arthas thought he would be rather imposing of his authority but he seems very lax with every one and gave the impression that they were all best friends, but Arthas new this wasn’t the case. He had heard his farther talk of the men that companied the King saying that they were not to be trusted and they had there own agendas. And according to Rand he had stoped lord from the land from overthrowing the king, and these lords were too rich and powerful to not be a threat. But his brilliance in battle had often scared the lords back to loyalty.
Arthas was struggling on what to think of the men, and why the king had brought his most untrustworthy lords to dine with them on the eve then suddenly his dad prodded him.
‘Arthas get a move on, you have an early start in the morning we have to see of the king and the lords, then it will be back to studying and then a few hours with me in the courtyard about you sword skills, well don’t just stand there boy!’
Arthas quickly getting to his feet facing his farther giving him thanks for the dinner and the night, then heading off to his room. It was a long walk to his room from the Feasting hall, it was the other side of the citadel, and it gave Arthas perfect time to think on the reason why the king had brought the lords that he did. Was it to give them a chance to look at Arthas and assess him, see if he could take up the reins, was it to try and persuade his farther back into the military to help to protect the king. Arthas could not settle on one reason before he got to his room but one thing remained, the king is playing a smart game with his lords and if they do rebel it will not be easy even with out Rand by his side and with that last though he entered his cosy bed, fluffed his pillow and entered the land of dreams.
It was early morning when he dad barged in and awoke him, ‘Arthas get up, your wasting day light.’
As Arthas began to awake he remembered the thoughts of last night ‘Farther why did the king invite the most untrustworthy Lords to dine on your retirement?’ Arthas said boldly.
Sitting down on the bed ‘Arthas, the king has to play many games to keep himself on the throne. The lords together could overwhelm him easily and take his crown, bringing them to dine was a chance to tell them that I am still alive and I have you to carry on my work. The king is smart Arthas he knows how to play his cards and when to place them on the field. Just to know that one powerful lord is behind the king stops them from overthrowing him. They want the crown them selves and sometimes a good kingdom will fall not to enemy invaders but to greedy lord who wanted the throne.’
‘So he’s using you to impose his authority’ Arthas said as he got up and started to change.
‘In a way he is, but I will always be there if the king needs me, Lords without kings are worse than an army with no general, now hurry up we have the king to farewell’
Arthas was soon ready and left with his farther to the stables, the king and the lords were all there packing to get ready to go home. ‘I do hope you have enjoyed your stay’
‘Rand we couldn’t have expected more, we have enjoyed your hospitality’ Tirion put in.
They were soon ready to leave and with Rand and Arthas watching they glimpsed out of sight.
‘Now Arthas to your studies and make sure you ready to take on your farther in the practice ring’ his dad spoke, turning Arthas left for the study room where his teacher would be waiting. Arthas was hoping the studies would be over quickly as he wanted to show his dad what he had learned when he had been away, hopefully this time he would win.

Kire
01-25-2010, 05:54 PM
The c1 is very interesting and well written. Hope to hear more soon =). Bdw will that battle be the end of arthas chronicles since he died (yea number 2 ending=P, pew pew -> humans dead). Tho if you give little more description of battle it would be nice conclusion of the chronicles. But if arthas and his kingdom die how would other (king + lords) react on that, maybe after end there could be epilogue =). Just my opinion. Oh and liked part where arthas fell on the floor =P, because it shows that hes not a "perfect man" and thats good =). Bdw how young is he here cuz you said just that he is young boy but that can be lots different numbers. At start i would say he is more like 10- 12 and during story more like 16-17.
You will post more, right ?=) Hooked me in x.x

welshie
01-25-2010, 06:15 PM
lol, he would be about 13-14 id say a few years till military service (16 it will be when he gets there)that and hes been drinking with the adults so he cannot be too young and yes there shall be more thats just how im starting it, if u havent already guessed the plot ima not going to tell you it. And that battle might end the way i want it too, you'll just have to wait and see :D

Negthareas
01-25-2010, 09:52 PM
Looks great! I don't have the time to read it entirely now, but I will try to do so tomorrow.

blackfang
01-26-2010, 05:44 AM
i will read it when i get home, i am currently in school:(

Supreme
01-26-2010, 03:14 PM
Havent read through all of it yet but try to use some spaces between area's of text (enters). It makes it easier to read ;)

welshie
01-26-2010, 03:57 PM
Havent read through all of it yet but try to use some spaces between area's of text (enters). It makes it easier to read ;)

sorry i did on my word, but hasnt seemed to come up on this :S

blackfang
01-27-2010, 01:04 AM
Btw i didnt get time to post what i thought of this after i read it yesterday:p It was really great:D Plz write more:D

welshie
01-27-2010, 07:55 AM
Continued.

But unlucky for Arthas his classes dragged along he had learned most of what needed learning so the teachers would set him meaning less tasks, lesson after lesson Arthas fought out staying awake and preparing to fight his farther. He was at his last lesson Elven Languages they both greeted each other, ‘Arthas it is time I taught you the ways of the elves and their livelihood, this may help you in future battles against the elves. You have almost mastered the art of elfish quicker than any man, or elf may I add’

‘Thank you master elf, before you start your lesson may I ask, my farther has a fine piece of wood that he made as a table for the feasting hall and he said the elves don’t use carpentry and ask the forest, how does this work?’

‘Well Arthas the elves and the forest live in harmony you see, they give the forests animals and tenders it, so in tow the elves get back food and wood. But it would not be wood you and I are used to, they live in great trees and every time they help the forest the trees get bigger. The elves live in the trees so they grow to they grow to their needs, complicated but it shall all be explained further in the lessons.’

So the lesson went on Arthas was keen at his table listing to the new lessons he shall be learning, it was all in elfish of course just to make sure he was leaning both at the same time but unlike the rest of the day this lesson flew by and soon it came to face his farther, saying goodbye to his teacher and thanking him for his lesson Arthas left and headed straight for the courtyard.

As soon as he entered he was confronted by his dads dominating height ‘Pick up a sword and attack me’ Rand ordered. Arthas quickly drew his sword and charged sword held well above his head Arthas was just about to strike when his Rand stepped out the way hit the sword out of his hand then tripped him up dashing Arthas’ hope to take his farther.

‘You trying to get you self killed? Before you charge you must evaluate the opponent and make sure you know where to put your feet. To be unprepared is to be prepared to fail, you must not charge in directly, now again’

Arthas got on his feet and picked the sword from the floor; he then assumed a low stance and walked around his farther assessing him, seeing where to strike and what the best place to strike is. As he was assessing his farther came towards him, he quickly assumed a defensive stance and checked he had enough ground for a hasty retreat. His old mentor said defence was he best attribute, so Rand came towards Arthas ], expecting a frontal attack Rand surprised him when he darted over to his left hand side and came with a side blow. But this time Arthas was prepared quickly met his sword with his and deflected it out the way, then Arthas moved on the offensive spinning past where Rand had attacked and lunged. Normally it would catch most by supprise but Rand wasn’t his normal opponent, and he quickly brushed the blade aside as he did so he came at Arthas using the pommel of his sword which Arthas had to limbo to escape, but now he was on the back foot and Rand came with blow after blow going from swings to lunges always keeping Arthas guessing, but somehow Arthas was keeping Rands attacks from finding there target. Arthas couldn’t carry on as the wall would surely catch up on him soon, Arthas parried and spun round Rand so that he had exposed his back lunging and hoping that this would end the battle but Rand him self spun with his sword upright knocking Arthas’ off target Rand ended the battle by sweeping Arthas off his feet with a kick and on his back Arthas was but a lying corpse.

‘Excellent Arthas you have come far, one of the best spars I have had in a long time! Tomorrow we shall look at your attacking and using your body to expose the opposition. Now the day is yours but do not be late for food, you have much growing to do and such little time to do it.’
With that they bowed and both turned and left, Arthas gathered his steed from the stables and headed into town, he was meeting his friends in the forest. Today they hoped to kill the fine stag that had made the forest his home, they had gotten close a few times but the stag was always a step to far. He met up with them just on the outskirts of the forest he was a very popular guy and this time most of the boys from the town was here even some girls too, probably here to see who the best was. Arthas had brought most of his military ware with him, leaving his armour on the horse he took his fine longbow and his quiver. Split up into groups he was they were put in 5’s Arthas had the company of his best friends Nathan, Robin, Alex and Tomas.

Nathan the son of the armourer he was Arthas age with bright blonde hair and rather toned body with looks to boot, he was sought after by many girls, he preferred to use sword and shield rather than hunting with bows but he enjoyed spending the time with his mates. He was the girlie man of the group always chasing or being chased by the girls and asking how he looked.

Robin had ginger hair and a scar marking his face that covered from left to right he was the son of the Fletcher and was a few months older than Arthas, being the fletcher’s son he was the best in town using the bow as he tested each and everyone of his fathers bow to see if they were good. He would also be good looking if it wasn’t for his scar that stretched from one side to the other of his face, he got it when he was young and slipped over with an arrow in his hand, cutting his face open.

Alex was a brown knotted haired and rather dirty young boy as he was from one of the poorest families in town his farther died during campaign with his Rand and ever since the family had never been able to recover. But Alex and Arthas both helped each other out as Alex was very talented at warfare they would train late at night together to help improve their skills, and in exchange Arthas made sure he was well fed and clothed, but Alex was the joker always making people laugh no matter what the situation.

And last Tomas he was a rather well built strong young man he had short brown hair, but unlike the others would keep to himself, but past all that and he was son to the second-in-command to Rand and also shared in Arthas’ luxuries. But whilst he tried to keep himself he was always there if any of the 4 needed him. He was the brains of the group getting them out of trouble when needed and making plans to get them into trouble as well.

Where did our young hero fit in all this, well of course he was the leader of the group he had all the attributes of the rest, but unlike most others he didn’t exploit them to other peoples demises. As they all got there hunting bows and quivers at the ready they started off in the woods, hour after hour past with no sign. Soon it would be getting to late to hunt, and his farther would be expecting him on time to dinner today but that was a few hours in the future.
‘Hey Nathan you got something on your bum’ Alex pointed

‘Where?’ as Nathan tried to look, then smack Alex kicked him square in the bum.

‘OWCHHH!’ he screamed, he turned and ran straight towards Alex but he was already off giggling like a girl. The others were laughing and then suddenly came a glimpse of wondrous antlers, and then the stag came into full view.

‘Shhhhh, look there he is’ Arthas pointed all of them turned with mouths wide open. Arthas knocked his bow sighted down his arrow, he was almost ready to shoot. Just a few more yards he thought, then like reading his mind the stag walked them few more yards into the prefect position. Arthas started counting down in his head 3… 2… 1… Then out of no where

‘ARTHAS!!!’ Someone bellowed from behind them, ‘Arthas quick come Darssen has been attacked!’ It was the stags lucky day, Arthas turned with his friends and rand back to where they had left there horses. As soon as they reached the point hundreds of the youth were standing watching the smoke work its way from Darssen towards the sky.

‘I’m going in to see what has happened and if I can find any survivors, who’s coming’ All of his group put there hands up but everyone else stared towards the ground and twiddling there thumbs. ‘Those who do not wish stay here until I return’ Arthas mounted followed by Nathan, Robin, Alex and Tomas.

They soon got in full view of the castle and for some reason Arthas could not see any siege marks where the intruders would have gained entry, but yet inside the walls fires broke out and smoke covered the sky. They carried on as they got to the gates they noticed they were open, entering the cobbled streets bodies layed everywhere guards looked like they died where they were patrolling, weird Arthas though normally the guards would be rushing to the rescue when there is an attack. They carried on fires still raging each boy went to there houses to look for survivors and met back at the citadel.

None had survived by the looks, Arthas hoped his family had found safety, but as soon as he entered the courtyard he saw a man tied against wooden pole he had blood pouring from almost every limb in his body. But his face was looking towards the ground, as Arthas approached him the man lifted his head ‘FARTHER!’ Arthas yelled.

‘Son do not bother with me im dead, look to the borders my son take your friends as well, you are not safe here’ coughing blood Rand carried on ‘I was betrayed took by surprise Lord Tomas returned with his army and slaughtered all where they stood….. Son please ….. Take my sword ………. And my armour it will ……. Serve you well……. We shall meet again’ and with that Rands head dropped back down to face the floor. Arthas full of rage and turned to his friends who all bore the same expression on there faces.

‘Gather what supplies we need and gather armour and weapons for our journey’ And with that they all ran in different directions some heading for family house holds to gather there family weapons and armour. Arthas headed straight for his fathers room, and upon entering he was faced with the glinting armour that his dad had been so successful in and by its side was the king’s sword. Gathering both up he clothed him self with the armour, and met Alex in his room, he had given permission to use his armour and weapon. Then the two of them headed straight for the armoury hoping there friends would all meet him there.

When the reached the armoury the boys were all in there fathers best armour. Tomas wore his father’s fine armour that almost made Rands look cheap. Nathan was in fine armour being the armourer’s son it was to be expected gilded in gold, but it was plain. ‘Dad said plain was always better than extravagance’ he explained. Robin however was in leather armour perfect for archers and he suited it, better than any of the others suited there dads.

‘Gather what we can for the others but do not over load the horses’ Arthas command. And with that they all started to gather up weapons and some chain mail but they could only fit few on the horses, checking everything Arthas then gave the command to mount up and head back. Having one last look at Darssen vowing to return victorious over Lord Tomas, they left.

Next week will be more :)

welshie
01-27-2010, 09:10 AM
Sorry if its a bit unrefined atm, will refine it laters. Just if your wondering this is like my mock bit still alot more definition of the characters and that to be added, just i get too restless when im building upto something i want that done there and then :P

blackfang
01-27-2010, 09:44 AM
Awesome It Is Toooooooo Goooodddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd:d :d :d :d :d :d :d

Negthareas
01-27-2010, 12:48 PM
I just read both, they are great! However, one question - wouldn't the armor and everything be a little big on a 13-14 year old? Besides that, I really enjoyed the read.

blackfang
01-27-2010, 02:37 PM
he can be a bit large for his age? i have heard and seen large people that was only about that age too...

welshie
01-27-2010, 03:45 PM
I just read both, they are great! However, one question - wouldn't the armor and everything be a little big on a 13-14 year old? Besides that, I really enjoyed the read.

Yeh i thought that to so i did update the start of the sotry to make him 15, and some 15 year olds are have done most of there growing.

Kire
01-27-2010, 05:54 PM
More, need more =O, hmmm wonder what will happen to king now.

welshie
01-28-2010, 05:55 AM
Rest of the first chapter.

Returning to the band of youths they were greeted with the sobs of grieving as they all knew what had happened. ‘I want everyone to gather round we have things to discuss’ he spoke to the people in front of him, they quickly began spreading the word. Everyone respected Arthas not just for who his farther was, he was a leader of men himself and everyone looked to him for guidance when hard times came, for he had killed attacking wolves and boars when everyone else froze at the sight of them. Cool headed Arthas began to greet all that came, it was not long before the tiny group of dozens became a good hundred strong, all with grief struck on their face boys had more anger but what few girls had tears streaming from there bulging eyes. But Arthas and his friends sucked it up as they needed to be steel here for them to stop anymore slaughtering, friends by his side Arthas addressed the youths.

‘Darssen is no more, betrayed by our own allies and lords all have perished and none survived. It is down to us to get to safety this land is no longer safe, the king I suspect will no longer be apart of this world or is just about to depart it, we must put our hopes in another land. The only lands that will be safe are to the North East, and put our hopes in the Elf’s or we must try and cross the rolling plains to the west to reach the kingdom of Teria, in the hope that they will accept us.’
People cried out in no such order ‘We must stay!’ ‘Why would people do such a thing’ ‘What happens if they don’t accept us’ ‘how will we survive’. Arthas soon quietened them with a raised hand.

‘We cannot stay, doing so will mean death for us all, and Lord Tomas has placed patrols over the whole of Darssen. If he finds us he will kill us, it is my duty to keep you safe and I will not allow anyone else to perish to this monster. I say the safest option is to the east and put our hopes in the east, although I would find Teria more acceptable to our cause’

One of the youths stepped forward he was a large fellow with dull black hair but looked like he had been kicked in the face by a horse. ‘I choose Teria! But I will follow you anywhere Lord Arthas!’ then kneeled, seeing this brute kneel everyone followed in suit, yes he was a Lord now since his dad was dead but a Lord of a what land? Everything his dad has owned was now dead now would his dad’s reputation carry for him where he went. So many questions so few answers. ‘We head for Teria, those best at swordsmanship and archery step forwards you shall now be the guards of this caravan. Teria shall not be an easy journey but the best for us all, when we reach there those who wish it can join me in my conquest to recapture my fathers land and his reputation! For Darssen!’

He was met with a cheer ‘For Lord Arthas! For Darssen!!!’

As he started handing out the blades and bows to the people that stepped forward to receive their weapons, a young lady approached him she was very pretty with long blond hair a bright blue eyes but most could not see as she dressed like a boy Arthas giggled to himself but regained himself before she finally reached him ‘My lord I am a fine archer and I shall do my best to keep anyone from harming the others! My names Adrena’

Handing a bow and a quiver to the young lady Arthas managed to release some words from his strangely tightened mouth, he had never had trouble speaking with anyone but this was different like his mind had left him. ‘Yoourrr welcome…’ Arthas managed to say whilst thinking ‘Idiot’ ‘I would be glad you have joined me, my names Arthas’ not realising that everyone knew him, she laughed at him took the bow and left. Arthas almost had a fight in the head how bad that went, and what he should have done.

Nathan joined him ‘Pretty, shame she dresses like a boy. What’s the matter cat got your tongue, ah least someone is having some fun in this mess.’ Nathan laughed at him as Arthas blushed. Not long after everyone was all fitted out looked more like a rabble than a guarded caravan, Arthas had everyone who did not wish to be a guard on the supply carts no one was over the age of 16, but now they had to act and behave like they were 20. And just one had been anywhere that was a great distance from Darssen he had been to Holton, so not only where they ill experienced with youth they also had to rely heavily on maps.

'We move!'

Chapter 2: the journey to Teria

blackfang
01-28-2010, 07:16 AM
Ok welshie i bow before your might, that chapter there was TEN TIMES BETTER then all mine summarized! You are indeed a mighty story writer. perhaps i should start a new story to try and beat it:p But we will see:D Tough i got much inspiration i like all that stuff at the end particularly:D Well PLZ continue forever with it;)

welshie
01-28-2010, 09:28 AM
Ok welshie i bow before your might, that chapter there was TEN TIMES BETTER then all mine summarized! You are indeed a mighty story writer. perhaps i should start a new story to try and beat it:p But we will see:D Tough i got much inspiration i like all that stuff at the end particularly:D Well PLZ continue forever with it;)

Dont worry will do have already started on chapter 2, and you should start your own story as well i wouldnt mind reading someone else's when i have some spare time. :)

blackfang
01-28-2010, 01:09 PM
Well i don't have time right now. so until the weekend at least i will not begin with anything, (i had a busy week with job application and we started a dancing project, we have a create a song from the bottom project, and lots of homework so i have to use the weekends:mad:) Sometimes i HATE school but when i find time i will try:D

Negthareas
01-28-2010, 04:24 PM
Really like ch. 2. Maybe Blackfang and Welshie, you and I could each do stories - not for a competition but for fun. What do you think?:)

blackfang
01-29-2010, 12:53 AM
well this is not for the competition. we just write stories we want to just to share them with everyone:D Thats why i made all those short stories on the other create a competition thread:) Tough i will gladly write, but the time this week is scarce. So i gotta see, today i will see how far we have gotten on the song project and maybe i have to do all the work again since i am the only one who actually bothered to learn the program we are using. So that would mean a all weekend. Else i think i will have time:D Hopefully the others bothered to even look at the program in the free time since we only got 4 hours left to do it on, 2 today and 2 on Monday. Also MOST likely i will have to write the song too, luckily i got until Friday next week until we have to deliver it. Also that create a dance competition comes at a perfect time, i am already stressed out as it is.

SO basically what i say is the weekends might be the only times i can write on now, except for 5-10 min in the morning like now:(

Also sorry for double posting but, should i start my own story thread then??????

Negthareas
01-31-2010, 10:43 AM
Yes...and I see you already did! I will try to put my first post together during the beginnning of this week.

welshie
02-02-2010, 10:04 AM
might be a while before next chapter havent had the time and when i have i havent been in the mood for writing most of it, making lodes of decisions of whats happining.

blackfang
02-02-2010, 12:26 PM
Well hopefully we get a new one soon:p

welshie
02-05-2010, 04:13 PM
There shall be a update in the middle of next week some time im going to pup some real effort into this chapter and dont wanna mess it up.

blackfang
02-05-2010, 04:19 PM
Me too so i gotta be on top of the world when i write! Thats why i don't write today:p

Negthareas
02-06-2010, 07:44 PM
Long waits and good stories are much better than short waits that were not worth the effort.

welshie
02-11-2010, 02:25 PM
It was getting late by the time the time everyone had gathered everything together then sun just managing to keep its self above the mountains in the west. People gathering in huddles, not sure on what to do and so kept in friendly groups. This was making it hard for Arthas and the guards to get everyone ready for the journey, but the need to move was far greater than the frustration of the logistical problems. He hoped that they could get a good distance away from the ruined town and make camp in the mountains not 20 miles from here, but now he would hope to camp in the forest of Durrham 8 miles away. Finally everyone looked ready and eager to get moving taking one last look at Darssen Arthas bellowed ‘We head west, I shall lead.’

Finally on the move it was now the guards turn to look bemused and no clue on what to do, shaking with swords and bows in hands Arthas ordered his friends to clam them and form a protective encirclement around the others they were few not more than 20 guards all with little experience of life. But there heart was pure and they would die for the cause if needed, breaking up the huddles of guards Nathan, Robin, Alex and Tomas took their places staggered between each other ensuring clam.

As they marched along the forest line and towards the mountain ranges of the west no one talked silence it seemed was the sound of grief and tonight will be the hardest Arthas thought and as they left the protection of the forest and towards the hill people turned heads while marching forward taking one last look and one last breath in the lands they had know all their lives.

Encamping in the forest of Durrham they quickly erected tents and Arthas ordered some of the guards to hunt some game before the light finally faded. He looked around noticing the grief ‘You must stay strong for your farther and for your people!’ he though as visions of his dead farther flew into thought. Steeling himself he went and inspected each tent and each guard to take his mind of things. Soon after the last tent was ready the guards came through the forest hauling a huge carcass, Arthas couldn’t make out the beast.


P.s. i know its only a little tiny update but ive been heavily sorting out my first chapter but i'd thought id run you thorugh this. im not to sure on what to carry on with ... idead plx :D

blackfang
02-11-2010, 03:14 PM
Ok thats awesome. you could make that group a group of refugees (other towns that are attacked leaving people behind arthas find them and integrate them into the people. Would be awesome):D :D :D :D :D

Kire
02-11-2010, 08:40 PM
Indeed short, but nice =P. You say you dont know how to proceed ?=)
1. he can create a forest camp and act like robin hood
2. he/they can go to some other authority to live under
3. he can meet a elvish mage that sends them on a quest
4. they might be found and attacked by orcs/elves and take them as slaves/gladiators
5. he can be stolen by pirates and sold far far away (only he)
6. they can search for ancient kingdom from a legend
7. they can go to royal dragon for advice what to do
8. the group can be attacked by ogers and kill all of them/most off them (if you think too many survived =P)
9. they can go to fathers x lord friend who will be hiding him or give him new identity, so he can get later an army from him ....
10. .... .... .... =P
11. all except him (or 1 more or supposed to be most killed) are killed in x action, than are slaves of orcs where he meet in prison a wise orc and 2 other humans (1 is very important but yet unknown and other one die soon) and with elvish girl (that he secretly like more than usual) and maybe also strange human but its actually dragon in magic curse. Maybe they fight together as a group in their arena stuff but one day the manage to escape .... =) and later on maybe meet some of their supposed to be dead friends also? And maybe One of them could become super evilish =P.

Hope you get new ideas and will start to write on =).

Negthareas
02-15-2010, 07:56 PM
Think about it real hard before you go to bed. In my experience at least, some of my dreams have been my best stories. They need a little trimming here and there, sometimes a backbone, but they have lots of imagination. See if you can use it to your advantage.:)

blackfang
02-16-2010, 07:42 AM
... i never sleep, i always stay conscious. Ohh the boring nights, however i constantly think perverted things during that time if that kinda thing is a dream? Also sometimes i think about how it would be to use fire in what ever kind i wish. Perhaps even lighting or being the leader of a robotical army. Also i got one dream once (or that my fantasy ran wild) Orb knights like i call it:p Everyone can buy orbs everywhere and then you build your clothing and equipment and fight it out on the open street. Magic is allowed. You can use a lot of stuff also you can use points you earn in battle to get better weapons and you can beat certain people to get better items. Or you can get armors. Then you use the orbs to decide on something or just battle endlessly. You can get cut down but then the orb will transport you to safety. Its awesome also it doesn't rely on lvl but rather skill or luck.

Thats my fantasy gone wild for you, its especially strong when i am alone. I can walk around endlessly looking completely lost but experiencing things:D However i totally suck at explaining them. If people got a picture of all my fantasy they would probably go mad and kill themselves. Also it has already destroyed my own mind, i remember back three years ago before it began. I was so shy i could not do a thing i never had courage to do anything. Then my fantasy recreated me into someone who laughs when seeing blood and the worst thing i can think of is not death actually i am not afraid of it since i have seen it so many times in my fantasies. I bet if people knew what i was thinking i would probably be sent to a mental hospital. Luckily i can somewhat restrain myself in front of others.

Thats my story on fantasy, i can make anything inside it. I guess i share to much personal info here, i guess i am nice and lazy its just my mind thats teared quite nicely apart. However i can live with it, i mean seriously what can you expect of teenagers in this age. The first time you watch **** is in kindergarten. Your first horror films when you were three, all the lower grades where surfing the internet and playing mujaffa with his bmw and always getting the cam. People have their first time when they are 10 years(there are some of those too) The future is ****ed to say it simply:( If only internet was not as tempting as it is.

welshie
02-16-2010, 09:19 AM
‘And what fine beast do we be dining on tonight!’

Revelling the beast from behind their back the hunters showed a wonderous boar but it was only a small one, one which wouldn’t feed many mounths tonight but at least some of the food stores would not be used tonight. ‘Cook it then try and hand out boar and some bread from the cart’ Arthas ordered as he pointed towards the cart.

Night came swiftly, some didn’t get the chance to finish the nights meals before the dark blanket of night enveloped them, and those that had finish quickly retired to their tents. Arthas on the other hand was planning on staying awake and take the first guard duty to let the others have some rest. Arthas with his blanket made pitch on the highest ground to watch over the encampment, covered by thorns it was the best point to watch over the encampment as although he would spot any danger before any other points he left him self open to the elements and surprise attacks and with little open group to direct your movements in. ‘And what is the commander doing guarding the camp? Isn’t that someone else’s job’ Tomas interrupted

‘Tomas you of all should know that they need there sleep to try and wipe there memories. The guards amongst all need their strength as the journey will be the hardest on them’

‘And in this journey will you not need yours? You of all should know that tired generals make rash decisions that can lose him a battle, now get to sleep I shall take over. Remember you are a commander, im a mere solider and I will not take no as an answer’

‘Tomas you are a good friend but I need this, if you look over at the encampment I doubt many people will sleep this night but we must give them the chance to. I cannot sleep so what’s the point in trying, all I can do is offer you to join me but I will not leave my post’

Then some rustling in the bush behind them went on and three figures appeared ‘Then we do it together’ Alex said before Arthas lunged at him with his sword sheathed.

‘Arthas we cannot sleep either and we thought u might need the company, do not forget ever that we are your friends now and we will be forever. So we cannot just let you take on this without our help’ Nathan put in.

Gathered around the point they lit a fire and talked all night about various things, from their fathers and how much they missed them and their guidance in these times to discussing the pretty girls in the camp. For them it seemed like nothing had happened they grieved in their heads and heart letting nothing influence their decisions and with only one thing in mind to keep them going, Revenge.

Night went quickly and the first rays of sun started to creep over the mountains, people started to stumble out of their tents. The girls had visible tears down their faces, but the boys tried not to show anything but it was clear the only boys who pull this off was Nathan, Alex, Robin, Tomas and Arthas strolling into camp they never showed a sign of grief or tiredness. Arthas was surprised as he had thought Tomas and himself would be the only ones as their fathers were the commanders of armies.

Quickly gathering up and making ready to move a small group of people caught Arthas and his friends eyes, they were not his people and quickly sheathed their weapons. ‘I doubt they have seen us there in thick forest Arthas, I shall go to them see who they are take points and get ready to help me Arthas do what you must with the people’ Tomas ordered knowing Arthas must not be put in danger, as he would be the only one to revenge the fallen.

Moving towards the group Tomas noticed that they weren’t soldiers but just people moving blindly into the forest, their faces covered in smoke and their clothes ripped from toe to top, there were not many there about 12 maximum and mostly female this didn’t look like a raiding party. ‘Who are you and what your business here is’ Tomas bellowed at the oncoming people sword at the ready.

Stumbling and wavering the people looked up they looked like they had just come from the battlefield, no one seemed eager to talk but one stepped forward ‘We are from the village of Longueville a vassal to the Darssen lord Rand, we were attacked by some men and we are the only survivors. Now you know us who are you?’

‘We are what’s left of Darssen, we have among us the son of rand, we are hoping to reach the empire of Teria in hope to raise an army and reclaim the lands in name of the King, now follow me to the camp we shall feed you and give you new clothes’ Walking back from the under bush the others joined Tomas and escorted them towards the caravan.

Arthas had got the caravan moving quickly gone less than 5 minutes Arthas had already moved over 100 yards Nathan caught up with Arthas filled in the situation, then the rest caught up. Stopping the caravan to get the full story from these strangers while feeding and clothing them. They learnt that the attackers planed to squash and resistance that they would face quickly before any of it became to much nuisance. But what they also knew that there was an army heading to relieve the people ‘General Yumis, he’s coming with the army’ Arthas said upon hearing this.

Now with this new information Arthas now moved with more intent than normal to help not only the people but to get to Yumis to join him. The caravan was quickly on the move again navigating the forest was difficult and soon they reached the plains near the mountain with open ground they were visible from long distances but they moved much quicker than they did when they were in the forest, lush dense forest turned into flat green grass land.

The land was also still in Rands territory and Arthas meet with more refugees more and more villages suffering and the 100 that they started with was now almost 1000 strong. Some villagers managing to escape in the hundreds some in the dozens but everyone made Arthas’ cause more intent and everyone with their own tales on what happened.

The sun started to turn to an orange and Arthas decided to look to make a camp already sending out hunters to fetch food, they needed to bring lots of food as the food they brought would not last the week with this number of people he had found on the way. Arthas soon settled on a wide open plain visible from afar but Arthas had decided there were to many to make camp in a forest without stretching his guards to an unhelpful number. The number of refugees had increased but so had the number of guards he now had 100 guards at this command.

The land Arthas had chosen was a wipe grass plain making it easy for the hunters to spot to bring in the food for the people, he had almost 50 people bringing in food for everyone. The grassy plain had a village in the far east smoke rising from the whole village, there was also a few farms close by Arthas had hoped the army left the stores of food, but most were empty with only a few out of the many still with some in.

People started to feast and get ready for the night that was soon enveloping them, Arthas gave one last look at the area before settling in. And on that last turn of his head and bright torch caught his eye near the forest from where his hunters had hunted, but they were all back or so he had though. ‘Guards make line on me!’ he ordered few knew what to do and Arthas had to put men in place. They lined up between the light and the camp. Arthas took 50 of his men leaving the other 50 in charge with Tomas who had to organise them.

Marching towards the light Arthas saw glinting armour, this wasn’t a mere hunter or some more refugees they were soldiers walking towards them it seemed only a part of about 30 or 40 but they looked experienced compared to his. Starting to regret leaving Tomas and the rest Arthas marched on, by the time they had reach one another the light had faded completely and Arthas walked towards the group with a torch in his hand.

‘You attack my party and I’ll make sure you shall not live to see another sun’ Arthas said with a rather aggressive tone.

‘We are the remnants of the Darssen army, we do not wish you harm. I am Jeriko and I was the 2nd in command, we were ambushed as we set up camp we only survive as we were patrolling the local area while they set up. All perished, now who are you?’ he said in a rather downbeat tone

‘You’re what are left? But you were my last hope’ Arthas went on and on failing to compute with the new information ‘Sorry I am Arthas son of Lord Rand, we are on a journey to Teria to raise an army and recapture my lands, and would be happy for you to join us.’ Arthas finally caught himself.

Kneeling Jeriko agreed to the proposal


p.s. Thanks for your help :)

blackfang
02-16-2010, 10:10 AM
GREAT!!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT BECOMES OF THIS STORY!!!!! However it was a bit unnatural for people to just join him but anyways I LOVE IT! Continue like this and you can make a book worthy of publishing:D

Negthareas
02-16-2010, 08:13 PM
Keep it coming! I know what you mean about fantasy. A lot of times, people assume i am spaced, but really my brain is going a mile a minute, just thinking.

blackfang
02-17-2010, 01:00 AM
well, mine goes further. I think even down to the smallest detail like the pen on my desk when i am leading a space armada:p However since i use so much brain capacity on this i got nothing for school and thus only get 4-5 on every test. (Third and second best)

welshie
02-21-2010, 12:22 PM
The sun was already behind the mountian ranges over in the west, the last few rays of light reaching out desperatly as they struggled to find the forest line, yet Arthas incisted that the group be searched and interogate a few of the soilders before giving away the encampment to strangers. Luckly Jerikos story mached with everyone else's and they all looked the part with blackened faces and blood stains covering their bodies, eaither Jeriko and his men were good at acting or they were being honest. Arthas decided that the need for 50 trained soilders to accompany him outweighed the danger. Arthas quickly moved everyone from the forest line where the meeting happened, the big old forest could conseal many foes and Arthas perfered to keep him and his men alive.

They moved in an awkward staggard line comming up to the encampment, Arthas and his men were everywhere and looked more like trouble makers than guards. While Jeriko and his men were in a 4 abreast and 11 deep line in perfect timing, Arthas quickly decided that jeriko was to be his Training commander, he needed well drilled and well orginised men to get him through this and jeriko looked like the man who could give him what he wanted. They were barly 100 yards away from the encampment when a voice bellowed 'This encampment is protected by me, and i have here to defend it 100 of the best archers in mythador! now state your purpose or face my judgement!'

a little bit more :)

Negthareas
02-21-2010, 03:38 PM
Keep it going.

blackfang
02-22-2010, 01:04 AM
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Smiley spam:p